TVF: The Ride
by roxypony
Summary: A belated anniversary gift for my bestie StayBeautiful1 ! When disaster strikes on Ronnie and Kade's special weekend, how can the boys possibly fix things? Well, they have a few ideas... LONGEST. ONESHOT. EVER.


Hi folks... I'm comin to you live from my brand new Macbook Pro and the first story posted from it. Yee!

First of all, this story is terribly terribly long. But I didn't wanna split it, so here it is. Hope you can handle it ;) BECAUSE IT TOOK ME FUCKING FOREVER TO WRITE. I started in AUGUST. D:

Second of all, as you may have already gathered, this is for my verybestfriend, **StayBeautiful1** ! (However there's plenty of Vampires for everyone else to enjoy too). This is actually something we were planning on writing together, I had this plot bunny in JUNE. So naturally, I started it 2 months later. It was meant to be posted on September 10th in celebration of the day my long-lost twin found me (the day after my birthday when I was having a very sad week, incidentally.)

So the story goes: Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Roxy. She had a very best friend named [name censored] and they lived life to the very fullest every single day, whether it be drinking on tailgates or burning up the arena on their barrel horses. But then one day, disaster struck. [Name censored] met a boy. A very tall boy, but no one would make the mistake of calling him handsome. (Except for her, clearly) And so it began. On September 10th 2010, the day after Roxy's 17th birthday, [name censored] abandoned her best friend in favour of a boy she'd known but three weeks. Or was it three days? Anyway, Roxy could clearly see how this one was going to turn out. [Name censored] was already enough of a flake as it was, now there was A Boy in the mix. This was going to be a miserable year without a best friend by her side. So Roxy prayed to God for a "soulmate" of her own, since she has terrible luck with boys. And God said:

"Dearest Roxy, I currently don't have any boys worthy of you, however according to my paperwork, you apparently have a long lost twin sister, living in... hmm, let's see here... Las Vegas, Nevada. I'll have her drop you a line."

And five minutes later, up popped a message in my PM box starting with "My name's Caitlyn and I think we'd get along great..."

The past year has been a wild ride for both of us. Through heartbreak and wild nights and awesome moments and dark times, we've gotten each other through all of it, and I don't know if I'd be here without you, Twinner. HAPPY ONE YEAR [AND A MONTH AND A BIT, WOOPS] I LOVE YOU :)

###

To anyone else, my apologies if you found that sappy (and I know you did) so I hope you enjoy this not-so-little edition to TVF :)

Also, EXTENSIVE chapter notes will be found at the bottom of this page because they'll make more sense once you've read.

ENJOY!

* * *

_8:46 am, middle of nowhere, Southwestern Ontario, Canada_

Kayden Stone sat on the edge of her bed, legs crossed and fingers pressed against the sides of her forehead, face scrunched in contemplation, thinking hard and muttering to herself.

_Focus. Speed. I am speed. I eat losers for breakfast. I am -_

"Heey Kadey. Visualizing again?"

Ronnie Dexter plopped down on the bed beside her best friend, playfully poking her shoulder.

"Jeeeezus Ron. You know better than to interrupt my meditation session." Kade smiled despite herself, snapping out of her thoughts.

"My bad." Ronnie rolled her eyes and smiled. "Watcha visualizing?"

"Same thing I've been visualizing all year." Kade shrugged. "The finals. Showdown Sunday, it's tomorrow and I don't know what I'm gonna-"

"Please." Ronnie smirked. "You've already got it won, without even trying."

Kade arched her eyebrows. "Just like you're gonna win the StarSearch Singoff without even trying?"

Ronnie cringed. "Don't even say that! I practiced for 5 hours solid yesterday and I still don't feel ready. Gods, I'm so nervous."

"You're _never_ nervous." Kade noted seriously, hugging her fluffy pink pillow.

"Neither are you." Ronnie pointed out with a twitch of a grin.

"This is the big one." Kade sighed. "I've been training all year for this."

"I still can't believe your Showdown fell on the same weekend as the Singoff ... and both in Toronto." said Ronnie, twirling a strand of hair thoughtfully.

"Like we say, twinner lives." Kade noted. "At least they're on separate days, right?"

"Yeah. Gods, it'll be the time of our life." Ronnie sighed blissfully.

"Y'know what?" Kade blurted out, standing up. "We're ready to do this. To hell with doubt, this is what we've been fighting for, and this is our one chance. So we're gonna push past everything and everyone, and just take it. Are you with me?"

Ronnie giggled. "You're funny when you're inspirational."

"I know." Kade grimaced. "It's not a good colour on me. But you get my point, right?"

"Absolutely." Ronn replied, also standing up. "Like you always say: No fear, no doubt-"

"-All in, balls out!" Kade finished the lyric to her favourite Nickelback song.

"Estimated time of departure, 41 minutes." Ronnie added, checking the time on her phone.

"Yikes." Kade cringed. "Thank God Paris is helping me pack. Apparently there's an app for that, and he's been dying to use it."

"Typical." Ronnie smirked as the two best friends exited the room and began to prepare for the awaiting adventure.

Ronnie and Kade plus their entire Vampire contingent had spent the past week at Kade's home farm (her parents were away travelling, so the 8 boys could be as conspicuous as they pleased). Ronnie had practiced hitting every note on her sparkly guitar and singing her heart out at every possible opportunity, and Kade had spent long hours in the saddle, preparing Shasta for the one 16-second run that would make or break her entire season. It was all lead-up to a weekend of nerves, stress, anxiety, and anticipation - but neither Kade nor Ronnie could imagine a better support team than...

Kurda who was giving Harkat a manicure, trimming the Little Person's weird thick fingernails. Mika and Arrow, who were performing their typical pre-vacation ritual and throwing junk food from the cupboards into their biggest suitcase. Paris, who was updating his iPad one last time before departure. Seba, who was sitting beside Kurda, repeatedly raising the bottle of nail polish remover up to his nose and inhaling deeply. At the other end of the table, Larten was reading Darren a list of rules that would apply to him and Ronnie for the weekend. He was listening with an expression of misery, until he saw Ronnie herself walk through the door.

"I can pretty much guaruntee they've had more fun than us this week." Kade commented as they stepped into the kitchen. The boys had indeed adjusted well to farm life. Despite the lack of room service and shopping malls, they had the space and privacy to be as loud and rambunctious as they wanted, so they came to a conclusion that it was a decent trade-off. Even Kurda accepted the fact that the drive-in shed was simply _not_ a gift shop. However, after Mika and Arrow took the tractors out for a race, Kade did have to lay down a few rules. But all in all, it had been a pleasantly peaceful week - for the boys, anyway.

"Okay guys, prepare to move out!" Ronnie ordered with the authority of a drill sergeant.

Paris pulled up a checklist on his iPad. "Kade, I have packed your required items into the storage section of the animal-transporting-vehicular-attachment-"

"_Horse trailer_, Paris." Kade giggled.

"Right. And I have made some simple mathematic calculations that have helped me to position your possessions to allow the most optimal remainder of cubic space."

Kade tilted her head to the side like a confused puppy.

"Oh my dear." Paris sighed. "Math will surely be the death of you. What I mean to say, is I have filled the least possible amount of space with the highest possible amount of equipment, therefore -"

"He squished everything in real tight so we have more room for important stuff like emergency bacon." Arrow clarified, sneaking up behind Paris.

"Gotchaaa." Kade grinned widely. "Let's go double-check it's all in there, seeing as it's cubed and all."

"Cubism is no laughing matter." Paris grumbled as Kade and Arrow slipped out the back door.

Meanwhile, Ronnie and Darren had descended down the basement stairs to the small cement storage room that Ronnie had cleaned up and converted into her temporary singing zone, because she liked the way her voice echoed off the walls. She'd glammed it up a little bit, adding a beanbag chair and her guitar stand, microphone equipment - and of course a giant Panic! At The Disco poster, a framed photo of Ryan Ross, a signed Taylor Swift tour poster, and a group photo of the gang which had been taken at her birthday party. She'd spent so many hours in the room this week, the amounts of tape she'd used to hang the posters was more than worth it. Beside the singing room was the guest room, which she and Darren had been sharing.

"Guess we should get packin', huh?" Darren shrugged as he looked around at the clutter of shirts, socks, jeans, and everything in between.

"90% of that's yours." Ronnie quipped, playfully tossing a sock at him.

"Including this?" Darren replied with a devious smile, holding up a blue bra.

Ronnie tackled him, and wrestled the bra from his hands until the two of them tumbled backwards onto the soft pullout couch, laughing hysterically. They paused and gazed into each other's eyes for a long moment, then her eyes moved down to his lips. He knew what that meant...

Then the door flew open, and Harkat stared down at them from the top of the stairs for an even longer moment, then clapped his hands over his eyes and slammed the door shut, yelling "We...gotta...go...now!"

###

Outside by the barn, Mika and Arrow had wrestled four large hay bales onto the roof of the trailer while Kurda and Larten secured them with bungee cords.

"I like bungee cords, they're so bendy and bungy- OOWCH!" Kurda wailed. "The hooky thingy cut my finger."

Larten snatched the bungee cord before the blonde could accidentally hang himself, and the two of them climbed back down the ladder.

"I swear, if you scratched my trailer..." Kade grunted, leading Shasta out of the barn.

"Ooooh she gots her PJs on!" Kurda squealed delightedly, admiring the horse's pink blanket and matching fuzzy leg wraps. "Heeey pony, can I just say that pink is definitley your best- OWWCHHH. SHE BIT ME." he recoiled, clutching the same finger that had just been scarred by the bungee hook.

"Favourite. Horse. Ever." Mika declared, patting her on the shoulder.

"She clearly hasn't developed a Kurda tolerance yet." Arrow added.

"Stand back, boys." Kade called as she lead Shasta up the ramp and onto the trailer, where the horse immediately dove into the bag of hay that awaited.

"She gets... road munchies!" Harkat gasped, sprinting out of the house. "Do we get...road munchies?"

"Got it covered." Arrow promised, patting Harkat on the shoulder. "Don't worry, little bro."

"Where are Darren and Veronica?" Larten demanded. "Our scheduled departure is imminent!"

"On our way, Mr. C!" Ronnie called as she strode across the yard. Darren staggered along behind her, toting both his and Ronnie's luggage. Ronnie walked several steps ahead of him with her bejeweled BeBe bag over one shoulder and her shiny black guitar case in the other.

"Ready sis?" Kade yelled as she did a final check on her equipment and locked the trailer doors.

"You know it." Ronnie smiled serenely as she carefully slid her guitar case behind the back seat of the Silverado 2500 pickup truck.

"EVERYBODY IN THE TRUCK!" Arrow ordered, hopping into the driver's seat. Kade slipped in beside him. Ronnie and Darren climbed into the back. Kurda attempted to join them, but Darren yanked the door shut before he could get too close.

"But the truck matches my hoodie!" the blonde Vampire moaned. "I got it custom-made!"

Sure enough, he sported a fitted jet-black hoodie with _"Ronnie 'n' Kade Toronto Tour 2011" _in hot pink rhinestones.

"A-a-and... I GOT ONE FOR ALL OF YOU." he continued miserably. "I was gonna keep it a suprise till we got there, but now you broke my concentration! Way to freakin' go, Darren."

"That's...great." said Harkat gently. "Can I...have mine...now?"

"We'll take ours too." Ronnie and Kade chorused sweetly. "Right boys?" Ronnie added under her breath, digging her elbow into Darren's ribs.

"Oh, yeah. Let's get our gay on!" the boy Prince mumbled.

"As if this truck wasn't bad enough..." Arrow hammered his forehead against the steering wheel.

"You love my truck and you know it." Kade pouted. "Pink is the essence of life."

"Ahh kaay..." the bald Prince sighed. "Gimme the stupid hoodie."

Once everyone had consented (or been bribed) to wear their hoodies for at least a few hours, Kurda demanded a group photo, despite Larten's grumblings about younglings having no respect for punctuality - until Ronnie informed him that he was sounding more like Seba every day. That shut him up.

Once Paris decoded the auto-timer on Kurda's pink camera, it was positioned on a fencepost where it snapped a side-on photo of the pink truck and the massive silver horse trailer behind it - with Shasta peeking out the window, Harkat sitting on the fender and feeding her a popsicle, Larten, Seba, and Paris loaded in the truck bed, Ronnie and Darren hanging out the back window, Kade and Arrow out the front, Mika standing on the roof like Tarzan, and Kurda posing on the hood like a Playboy Vampire in a car commercial.

Instant classic.

###

After a fairly easygoing (by Vampire standards) drive, the convoy pulled in behind the massive multiplex known as the Ricoh Colosseum in downtown Toronto. Arrow smoothly parked the truck and trailer while Harkat scooched the Escalade to a stop beside them. Before it was fully stopped however, the crew inside began to disembark.

"Ohh. Em. Geeeee." Kurda gasped as his petite footsies touched down on Toronto pavement for the first time. "This is almost as legit as Vaay-gusss. Looook I see the pointy tower thinger-maboober."

"There's a sparkle in my hair." Mika groaned, tumbling out the side door after Kurda.

"There's a dust on my iPad." Paris growled venemously.

"There is a pain in my back." Larten grumbled.

"There's a...spring in my...step?" Harkat commented positively.

"That's our Harkie." Ronnie smiled, patting the Little Person on the head once she'd stepped out of the truck. "What's the game plan, Kadey?" she added as her best friend joined her.

"We'll unload everything and go inside, and I'll find my assigned stall. Once everything's off the trailer, Arrow can go park it and unhitch the truck so we'll be free to drive around." Kade began.

"Once Miss Pony is snug as a bug in a rug, we getta go to the hotel, right? Right? RIGHT?" Kurda demanded.

"Not quite. Once we're set up inside, I'm gonna take a tour around the warm-up arena, to get a feel of the grounds." Kade explained.

"And I'm gonna tune my guitar." Ronnie added. "Since _someone_ decided to give it a try and completely demolished the sound." she shot a playful glare at Darren, who shrugged and smiled.

"'Kay, let's get 'er done so we can check out the hotel ASAP." Kade concluded, opening the trailer door to retrieve her best friend on four hooves.

"Autobots, roll out!" Mika barked. He recieved some funny looks.

"Whaaat? I watched Transformers on the Essie DVD player!"

"So THAT'S where my DVD went!" Kade screeched angrily from inside the trailer.

"You better run fast, bro." Arrow suggested casually, withdrawing Kade's large crate of assorted riding equipment from the trailer storage room.

Mika grumbled to himself, and picked up Kade's barrel racing saddle. Larten and Seba carried a hay bale between them - however, Seba dropped his end heavily on Larten's toes, because he loudly decided that the nearby CN Tower was an abomination of the highest order.

"The CN Tower is a communications and observation tower in Downtown Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Standing 553.33 metres (1,815.4 ft) tall, it was completed in 1976, becoming the world's tallest free-standing structure and world's tallest tower at the time. It held both records for 34 years until the completion of the Burj Khalifa and Canton Tower. It remains the tallest free-standing structure in the Western Hemisphere, a signature icon of Toronto's skyline, and a symbol of Canada, attracting more than two million international visitors annually." Paris contributed excitedly.

"Someone please turn off Wikipedia?" Ronnie groaned as the gang trooped through the stall area inside the building.

"But I just got the app." Paris moaned, sliding his iPad back into its protective case.

"Did it mention how incedibly disastrously unstable that ridiculous building appears to be?" Seba griped.

"It's not gonna fall on you Sebs. I swear." Kade sighed as she lead Shasta (with Harkat sitting on her back) through the arena doors with the contingent of Vampires close behind.

"How on earth would you know that?" the senile old Vampire replied indignantly. "That monstrosity does not look structurally sound in the slightest! The merest gust of wind could tip it over onto my unsuspecting head!"

"You are not exactly _unsuspecting._" Larten grumbled. "Just listen to you!"

"It is biding its time." Seba shot back. "It will wait till I am not suspicious, then BAM." he kicked a nearby water bucket for a dramatic effect.

"That's gonna be a hell of a wait." Kade muttered, closely reading a nametag on the empty stall before them. "Ah, here we are. Home sweet home for the weekend."

"She gets a nice poofy bed." Kurda observed the thick lining of fresh wood shavings on the stall floor. "I wish my bed was poofy."

As Kade led Shasta into the stall, the rest of the entourage positioned he equipment throughout the adjacent storage alcove, according to Paris's calculations.

"Ah, there we go." he sighed happily as they slid the hay bale into place. "Everything's nice and squaaaared away."

"No more math." Kade groaned, rubbing her forehead. "Okay guys, new assignments. I'm going to warm up in the collosseum arena now. Ronn, Dar, Arrow, Mr. C, you guys save some seats. It's just a warmup so there won't be a crowd of spectators, but get a good spot anyway. Kurda, Harkie, Mika, and Seba, you guys check out our food court situation. There's a real good one here. Okay? Go!"

###

Warm-up was peaceful and soothing, as it should be. Kade and Shasta cruised around the olympic-sized indoor arena, becoming accustomed to the size and footing. High above her, Ronnie curled up in one of the comfy audience chairs and tuned her glittering guitar to perfection while Darren listened with rapt attention as she taught him how. Mika and Arrow sat side-by-side for some beloved bro time, munching fries, burgers, slushies, and everything in between. Seba rambled belligerently about the fact that the CN tower would come crashing down on their heads at any minute. Paris nodded and said "Yeah." every now and then, while reading about Torontonian history on his 'Pad. Larten stood up and watched Kade like a coach, yelling some very un-valuable pieces of advice, like when to turn so she would avoid colliding with walls. Harkat steadily worked away at an ice cream cone that was almost taller than him. And once the guitar had been tuned, Kurda and Ronnie had a very serious discussion about what she was going to wear onstage the next night.

Once the warm-up was complete, they returned to the stall area where Kade gave Shasta several Sour Cherry Blasters for a reward.

"You should not be passing your terrible eating habits on to this innocent creature." Larten stated reproachfully as Shasta greedily munched the candy.

"C'mon. She just burned a gazillion calories, she deserves it. Plus, she only gets to eat dry salad anyway. And without dressing!" Kurda disagreed, pointing at the hay bale.

"Yeeeah." Kade smirked sarcastically as she checked everything one last time.

"I'm from the city and I know hay is not the same thing as salad. I don't even know what hay is." Ronnie chuckled.

"TO THE HOTEL!" Mika roared a battlecry, and the gang charged out the door, past the security guards, across the parking lot, and split neatly into the two vehicles.

"What's the dealio now?" Kade inquired as she buckled in.

"Once we're unpacked and settled at the hotel, we have to gun it over to the Air Canada Center so I can register for the Singoff." said Ronnie.

"Sweet." Kade replied. "What time does the show start?"

"I dunno, they'll tell me when I get there. Ohmigod it's gonna be so professional, they have a billion lighting experts and everything."

"But will they have food?" Arrow questioned in a serious tone.

"Yeah, but it's upscale gourmet. As in sushi and quiche and mini sandwiches with no calories or taste. You might have to keep your emergency bacon on hand for this one." Ronn smirked.

"No burgers?" Arrow yelped, jerking the steering wheel slightly.

"No burgers." said Ronnie.

"Then it can't be that professional..." the tattooed Prince grumbled his way into silence.

###

The hotel rooms were completely upscale, even dwarfing the luxury accommodations they'd enjoyed at the ski resort all those years ago. However, Ronnie only had enough points on her frequent flier card to rent one of them. And it was not designed to accommodate 10 bodies, so things were cozy.

"SOMEONE TELL ME WHY I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS HAVE TO SHARE WITH KURDA!" Mika roared miserably as he swiped a pile of cosmetics off the bathroom counter. "I mean, do you know how horrible this is for my health? This will take a century off my life for sure."

"I can see that. You're starting to talk just like him." Ronnie commented breezily as she walked past the en-suite bathroom, causing Mika to flinch painfully. "Now hurry up, we gotta GO."

"Can some of us not stay in the room?" Larten griped. "I _just _got Seba to stop talking about how the CN Tower will kill us all. We were lucky enough to get a room from which you cannot see the damned thing, and I do not want to go back outside."

Sure enough, Seba was parked in the corner, staring out the window and counting the city lights.

"Shame on you, Mr. Larty McLarten." Kurda bitched, waggling a finger. "What kind of support team would we be if we didn't support Ronnz and Kadey through 200% of their kickass weekend? READ YOUR FREEPIN' HOODIE ALREADY! I'm pretty sure doesn't say _Crepsley Bitch Fest 2011-_WHY ARE YOU ALL LAUGHING?"

"Tell you what, Kurdy." Ronnie wiped a tear from her eye once she'd forced herself to stop laughing. "We don't need to drag our whole crew along to the sign-in. All I have to do is give them my name anyway. So how 'bout we make it a trip with just us girls- I mean, us... _glamourous people_. You, me, and Kade. Once I'm all signed up, we can go shopping!"

This was unanimously accepted as the best idea ever.

###

Boy's Night In turned out to be excellent. Darren ordered a giant pizza and not a single person complained about the calories and requested a salad instead. Arrow and Mika went downstairs to hit the bar, and came back up smuggling a stash of rather tasty alcoholic beverages, which were sampled by all. And best of all, they were able to watch the Criminal Minds marathon without a single scream of horror from Kurda - because he wasn't there.

"I am beginning to understand why you young Princes find this show so entrancing." Paris noted as the gang watched the third serial killer of the night disembowel a large group of people.

"Why didn't we do this before?" Mika demanded. "Send Kurda away with the girls? They're happy cuz he gives them great haircuts and manicures and shit like that. He's happy cuz they don't beat him. And we're happy cuz he's not shedding yellow hairs all over us! It's win-win-"

"GUUUUUUUUYYSSS!" came a horrendous screech from outside the door, followed by desperate pounding.

"-it's back." Mika grunted, covering his face with a pillow.

"Dumbass, I've got the room key right here..." said Kade's voice. There was a click and a beep, and the door swung open to admit three figures who looked incredibly preturbed.

"IT'S AWFUL. IT'S TRAGIC. IT'S COMPLETELY HIDEOUS." Kurda flailed his arms as he scampered to the bed and fell dramatically.

"Your hair? Yeah we know." Mika shot.

"No. This is legit bad." Ronnie cut in.

"This situation sucks hairy sweaty Vampaneze balls." Kade added blatantly. Larten's eyes went wide at her language, but he was offered no opportunity to protest.

"What happened?" Darren gasped, leaping off the couch.

"Not only are the Star Search Singoff and Showdown Sunday on the same frickin' _day, _they're at the exact same frickin' time." Kade griped furiously.

"The info package they sent me _told me it was Saturday!_" Ronnie gushed vehmently. "And they had the nerve to call it a _typo!_"

Darren grabbed her hand and held it tightly.

"But...are you _sure?_" Larten flustered, looking suprisingly disappointed.

"She goes on stage at exactly 2pm tomorrow night. And the rodeo starts at 2pm tomorrow night. If only they could delay it, even 3 hours would be enough time. I can't believe this" Kade replied somberly.

Kurda punctuated the moment with a shrill sob of grief.

"Okay Kurda, it's not _that_ bad. It'll be okay." Ronnie consoled him.

"Now say that like you mean it." said Mika with raised eyebrows. Ronnie kicked him in the shin with her shiny pointy shoe.

"Maybe we can... work something... out." Harkat spoke up hopefully, passing a piece of pizza to each of the girls. "Maybe they can...switch the dates...if we explain...the circumstances?"

"Good idea." Kade huffed. "I'll call the rodeo committee director."

"And I'll call the StarSearch dumbshits." Ronnie added.

"Make sure you threaten to sue." Mika suggested. "When I do that, they always give me free stuff."

"Are you sure that's not because you wave daggers in their face?" Paris inquired lightly.

"Shuddup I'm dialing!" Kade yelped, retreating into the bathroom with her Blackberry and slamming the door.

"Me too!" Ronnie added, taking her iPhone out into the hall.

"I do hope the humans are reasonable." Larten said anxiously. The others shot quizzical looks at him. "I mean, it would be awful if we came all this way and wasted all this effort for nothing!"

"Careful, Crepsley. You might accidentally come across as someone concerned with the girls' happiness." Mika chuckled.

"Preposterous. The sport of rodeo is for brainless thrill seekers, and the music industry is shallow and superficial. I am simply too busy to teach them otherwise. They can learn on their own." Larten sniffed disdainfully.

"While you watch like the proudest daddy ever." Mika smirked.

"That, my good sir, is a load of bovine feces." Larten scoffed.

"Suuuuure." Arrow snickered.

"Whatever you say." Darren giggled.

Then there came a yelled string of profanities from outside the hall which made Larten cover his ears and rock back and forth. Then Ronnie came storming back in and chucked her phone at his forehead.

"No luck, I suppose?" the ginger mentor replied dryly.

"They hung up on me!" Ronnie snorted incrdulously.

"Same. They told me I could run tomorrow or not at all." Kade replied miserably as she stalked out of the bathroom and flopped down on the bed beside Arrow.

"THOSE IGNORANT SONS OF SHE-WOLVES." Seba squawked. "Wait. To whom are we referring and what crime have they committed?"

"I thought I told you to count _all_ the lights!" Larten reprimanded. Seba growled.

"Time for bed." Kade grumbled apathetically. "5 am wakeup tomorrow, whether you like it or not."

"And gods help you if I hear one single peep out of you tonight." Ronnie added, dragging her suitcase into the bathroom so she could change into her PJs.

"Yeah, if any of burn the building down, or start playing video games, or pull the fire alarm, or make bombs, or fireworks, or turn the TV on, or if you let out one single snore, you will be _sorry_." Kade noted, curling up in one of the king-sized beds beside Arrow.

"Scratch the fireworks plan, then." Mika muttered into Harkat's ear.

Ronnie and Darren claimed the other bed. Paris decided there was no reason an ironing board couldn't double as a bed. Larten dragged a pullout cot from the closet. Seba dozed off immediately with his head cranked back at an awkward angle in an upright chair. Harkat curled up like a puppy on the foot of Darren and Ronnie's bed. Kurda tried to do the same on Kade and Arrow's bed, but got a kick in the head. After that, he retreated to the couch. Until Mika turfed him out, and the poor blonde tried to make himself comfortable in the bathtub.

Silence lasted from 11 pm to 4:59 am. It was interrupted only at 2:18 am when Mika got up, half asleep, to use the bathroom and found Kurda lying in the bathtub. A very sleepy version of chaos broke out, but it was restored within 5 minutes. Violent threats were used.

At precisely 5 am, Kade's phone blared _Something In Your Mouth _by Nickelback across the room.

"I LOVE THIS SONG!" Mika proclaimed loudly

"You could...not design a...more obnoxious...alarm tune." Harkat grunted, slowly rolling himself off the bed. The usually optimistic little person was extremely cranky at early hours.

"I could. There's an app for- AHH!" Paris tried to get up, but fell off the ironing board. Then it landed on him.

"It is supposed to be obnoxious. So you are motivated to get out of bed and turn the damnable thing off." Larten grunted, hauling himself up off the cot.

Kade mumbled something indecipherable and pulled the covers over her face.

"Kade, if we don't get up now, the hotel buffet might run out of bacon before we get there." said Arrow gently, shaking her shoulder.

"I don't think you're making the argument you think you are." Ronnie yawned as she slipped into her fuzzy turquoise bathrobe.

"She loves bacon!" Arrow protested. "EVERYONE should love bacon. Or else." he added as a menacing afterthought.

"I don't love anything at 5 am." Kade mumbled, slowly crawing out of bed, her hair a bedraggled mess.

"You're so cute when you're tired." Arrow smiled fondly. She punched him in the shoulder, but without the usual force.

There was a second round of horrified screaming when Mika stepped into the bathroom, he'd forgotten Kurda had taken residence in the bathtub. This was followed by a loud smash, as Kurda's favourite perfume bottle met its end on the marble floor. This resulted in even more screaming - from both of them. Mika was severely upset that he now smelled like a blonde ditz and this caused him to scream louder than the distraught Kurda.

Eventually, Darren managed to usher everyone out of the room, down the stairs (Seba threatened to throw a tantrum if he was dragged anywhere near the elevator - "When I was your age, we all walked on the ground! And that worked just fine!") and into the Hotel's very own Hall of Khledon Lurt (as the Vampires called it) to discover that the supply of bacon hadn't even been cooked yet. Arrow refused to share his emergency stash (stating that it didn't count as an emergency, since there was technically a supply of bacon on the premises) so there was nothing else to do but wait.

"So, I know nobody likes this, and I hate it too, but it has to be said." Kade announced grimly once she had ingested enough coffee to sit upright. "We can't all be at the Showdown and the Singoff at the same time, so who's going with who?"

"Darren and Arrow have obvious choices." Ronnie added. "So I say we pick our teams middle-school style. Unless you guys have opinions."

"Let me weigh the choices." Larten grumbled. "I can accompany Veronica and be surrounded by glitter and perfume and superficial egotistical starlets, or I can follow Kayden and spend my day dodging animal droppings and jarhead cattle-folk. Each is equally upsetting."

"WE'RE NOT ALL LIKE THAT!" Kade and Ronnie retorted furiously.

"I suppose... I will go with Veronica. If only for the sole purpose of keeping an eye on the young Shan." Larten decided.

"Greeeeat." Ronnie smiled painfully. "I'll take Kurda too, I need a beauty and fashion specialist."

"Ohhhh you read my mind!" Kurda gasped.

"This might be the one day in history where he'll be useful." Mika noted.

"Just for that, I'll take you too." Ronnie snickered. "You and Kurda could use some bonding time. Maybe he'll teach you a thing or two about glamour."

"B-b-but, Arrow gets to go to the rodeo!" Mika sputtered like a dissappointed child.

"I don't care what Arrow is doing, you're coming with me." Ronnie spoke in a stern, motherly tone.

"I'll bring you back some real bull shit." Arrow promised with a cheeky grin.

"Score!" Mika fist-pumped.

"I'll take Seba. We can lock him in a stall or something. And worst case scenario, if he tries to run away I'll get one of the cattle guys to rope him before he gets too far." Kade smirked.

"I shall accompany you also." Paris piped up. "I have always wanted to film a documentary, this rodeo business is an excellent opportunity."

"I want... the rodeo." Harkat smiled. "I like... the animals."

"You got it, buddy." Kade grinned. "We'll get you a little cowboy hat and everything.

The Little Person clapped in anticipation.

Once the bacon tray had been filled by some very frazzled hotel staff, each Vampire snatched up their desired quantity, grabbed a few muffins each, a little glass of juice or coffee or both, and scrambled out the door and across the parking lot to where the Essie and the pink truck were parked side-by-side.

"So, who here is qualified to drive?" Ronnie inquired, looking over her group of 4.

"Well, let's see." Kade rambled. "Mika thinks driving is a video game where you get points for hitting stuff. Mr. Crepsley is... well he's Mr. Crepsley. Kurda wouldn't be able to take his eyes off the mirror, the steering wheel hurts his baby hands, and the pedals scuff his expensive shoes. And Darren can't parallel park, pass, reverse, or change lanes. I think you'll be safest if you be your own chauffer today."

"Gotta love the VIP treatment!" Ronnie smirked, opening the driver's door. "See you tonight, sister. When we meet back at this hotel, we'll both be winners. Agreed?"

"Agreed." Kade responded nervously.

"I set up the TV in the room to record both the StarSearch and the Showdown, so we can all watch it together when it's over." Paris added with a smile. "Actually, I did it remotely cuz there's an app for-"

"Thanks, fella." Kade grinned, giving him a quick hug as the Vampires began to pile into the vehicles. "Okay Twinner, you go show'em who you are!"

"Not literally!" Larten added. "Vampire secrecy laws and all. Show them who you _kind of _are."

"Okay, L-Creps." Ronnie smirked. "And Kadey, like we always say -_ Yee yee woot woot_, _Why you all in my ear? Talkin' a whole bunch a shit that I ain't tryin to hear_?"

_"GET BACK MOTHAFUCKA YOU DUNNO ME LIKE THAT!" _Kade roared happily.

"How I loathe that ludicrous Ludacris character..." Larten huffed miserably, banging his head against the window.

"Why are Kayden and Veronica yelling such rude profanatic insults at each other?" Seba puzzled.

"It's how they express affection." Arrow shrugged, buckling his seatbelt and putting the truck in gear. "Like when Mika and I punch each other."

"When I was your age, we expressed affection with a simple handshake and a 'How do yo do?'." Seba snorted.

"How I love Sunday morning drives!" Paris cried exuberantly, popping his head out the window like a dog and letting his beard fly in the wind.

"Morning? This is more like midight." Arrow grumbled.

"I remember when we used to go to bed at this time." Seba complained. "How far we have deviated from our traditions, what would our great ancestors say-"

_We're goin up tonight! To kick down every light! Take anything we want, drink everything in sight! We're goin till the world stops turning when we burn it to the ground toniiiiiight! [Nickelback]. _the stereo blared as Kade plugged in her iPod to drown out the elderly Vampire's muttering. But it wasn't the same without Ronnie screaming along to the lyrics with her. At least Ronnie knew how to sing, her polished voice made up for Kade's complete lack of musical ability. But when they sang together, they sounded like a rock band.

###

"Wow, this is...cozy." Ronnie commented as she entered her "dressing room". It wasn't a real dressing room, more like a closet. But it had a mirror, a vanity, and a little chair. And she had the rest, her fold-out crate of cosmetic and a bursting bag of clothes. She didn't need a fancy room to rock out!

"How are we supposed to keep ourselves occupied till 2 pm?" Larten complained, making use of the chair until Ronnie pushed him off.

"Oh sweetie, you've never been to a show like this, have you?" Ronnie smiled sympathetically. "Beautification is an all-day process."

Darren smiled. Kurda cheered. Larten cringed. Mika turned green with disgust.

"I need to get some air." the dark Prince gulped, stumbling out of the room.

"I am right behind you." Larten muttered.

###

It appeared Shasta had a much more relaxing night than Kade. The mare gazed up at the Vampires with her huge brown eyes as she lay snuggled in the corner of her stall.

"At least you had a good sleep." Kade sighed. "Up and at 'em, sweetie. It's our big day."

Shasta snorted and stood up, shaking bits of wood shavings from her long honey-blonde mane.

"...Pony..." Harkat sighed happily, hugging the horse's knees - the only part he could reach.

"Tell me, how are you feeling before your make-or-break run? Nervous? Excited?" Paris inquired, holding his iPad - camera rolling - up to Shasta's face. The curious horse sniffed the cold metal, then gave it a good long lick. Paris yelped and frantically scrubbed it with his sleeve.

"Hungry, apparently." Arrow commented.

"Okay, let's hit the warmup arena before it gets busy." said Kade, lifting her saddle onto Shasta's back. "Harkie, wanna put her boots on like I showed you? Grab those black ones, I'll save the red ones for this afternoon."

The industrious Little Person carefully velcro'd protective boots around each of Shasta's lower legs, pausing only to put one on his own leg to see how it felt.

"Ooooh, OrthoSport." said Paris excitedly, grabbing one and holding it in front of the camera eye. "_Here we see an example of 21st century armour - befitting a mighty war horse as she charges into battle-"_

"Someone turn the documentary off?" Kade begged. She slipped her bridle onto Shasta's head and lead her down the aisle of stalls towards the warmup arena, which was empty. The freshly raked sand lay waiting and inviting the thunder of hooves that would soon tear across it.

"Kade." Harkat gasped. "Can... can I..."

"Wanna pony ride?" the girl asked with a grin.

"YES!" the Little Person hopped for joy.

Kade picked him up and set him in the saddle. His little cowboy-booted feet didn't reach anywhere near the stirrups, but he held a firm grip on the saddle horn with one hand and held the reins in the other as Shasta slowly plodded across the sand, knowing her small rider wasn't completely secure.

As Kade coached Harkat, Paris, Seba, and Arrow leaned against the bull pens like veteran cowboys, even though Paris's hat was backwards and Seba was still wearing pajamas.

"This sucks big hairy Vampaneze balls. And you know I don't say that lightly." Arrow commented gruffly.

"It does indeed. I can't believe nobody asked Seba to change. What an embarassment." Paris replied gravely

"No, I mean, yeah that's pretty bad, but I'm talking about how this day played out. We were supposed to be together. Kade and Ron have been working so hard for this, they were so excited, and now we're split up on different sides of a strange city. Does that bother anyone else? Seriously?" the tattooed Prince wondered.

Seba made an offhand comment about how the cattle in the pen next to them were being incredibly loud about their mating rituals.

Paris was silent for a long time. Then his eyes went as wide as the screen of his iMac computer, and he withdrew his iPad and began to scroll furiously.

"What are you doing?" Arrow asked.

"We're gonna fix the problem. I have an app for this." Paris breathed in mesmerization. "Create-Diversion-Now. Version 2.0."

###

"This is quite the interesting place." Larten commented as he and Mika checked out the auditorium where Ronnie would be performing along with all the other hopefuls.

"Yeah. Makes the stage we built look like a shithole." Mika noted.

"We had fun on that stage." Larten replied indignantly.

"That's not the word I'd use." Mika snickered, casually nibbling a fingernail.

"Well, it was certainly our most interesting Chrismas to date." said Larten thoughtfully.

"Oh hell naw. Last year topped it, easy. I mean, we dropped the Essie on Steve Leopard and his bitch Gannen. Even we don't do that every day." Mika pointed out.

"This is true." Larten admitted. "Veronica and Kayden were so incredibly brave and resourceful that night, I was proud of them both. It is so unfortunate they will not be able to watch each other shine today."

"I knew you cared, you big ginger sucker." Mika grinned with vindication.

Larten turned bright red. Mika decided to be merciful and change the subject.

"I take it back, our stage was way sicker than this one. I mean, they don't even have folding stairs. _We _had folding stairs. Sure they have a remote-controlled disco ball, but whatevs. Our stage was definitely better."

"Do you recall the expression on Darren's face when the top beam fell and put a hole right through the middle?" Larten snickered mischeviously.

"I thought the kid was gonna shit a brick for sure." Mika chuckled.

"I still cannot believe we managed to rebuild it in the space of 3 hours." Larten sighed reminiscently.

"What was that?" Mika asked suddenly.

"I cannot believe we managed to rebuild it?"

"No, after that."

"In the space of 3 hours? Goodness, Mika. You need your ears checked."

Suddenly, something deep in the back of Mika's sometimes-forgotten brain clicked like a lock in a key.

"3 hours."

"Pardon?"

"LARTEN, 3 HOURS!"

"Mika, I think you should lie down."

"3 hours is_ just enough time_. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Gods, I certainly hope not."

"We need to get Arrow on the phone, right now."

###

In the public restroom of the Ricoh Collosseum, there was a top-secret video chat conference in progress. Paris had set up his iPad for facetime and propped it against the sink, while on the other end Mika had hijacked Ronnie's new iPhone 4. Ronnie had just began her hour-shower, while Kade was still riding the warmup arena. The scheming Vampires had plenty of time.

"And exactly how are we going to make a bomb before 2pm?" Larten snorted skeptically.

"Paris has an app for it." said Arrow sarcastically.

Paris nodded happily. "iBlow 'Em Up, version 4.8.3. Step-by-step instructions for everything from pipe bombs to nukes!"

"Holy shit, I was just kidding. You are one crazy man, Skyle." Arrow chuckled.

"Just make sure you don't blow up Ronnie's dressing room. Her makeup's expeeeensive." Kurda reminded.

"So, what do we need?" Mika demanded.

"Oookaay... so, we need a property damager. A bit more than a diversion, but a bit less than a decimation. Take as few lives as possible, right?" said Arrow, drawing upon his extensive knowledge of cop shows.

"That would be ideal, yes." said Paris breezily. "With a competition like this, repairs will be imminent, but they shall take just long enough to attend the entire rodeo, if my calculations are correct..." he typed on his iPad screen... "Ta - daah! All we need is a small infrastructure, wire, fuse, an itty bitty drop of gasoline, a lighter, a cell phone, some heavily compressed product in a metal can - hairspray or whipped cream will do - and... instant boom! Well, not instant. Some assembly required, but you get the idea."

"And you got all that from one of those i-application pieces of nonsense?" Larten gasped.

"It's a very new version."

"Ah. So, it gives any random person step-by-step details on how to create explosive devices?"

"Not _any_ person, Larten." Paris sighed. "Only those who are privleged enough to own an iMac, iPhone, iPad, or iTouch. I happen to own at least one of each."

"Good for you, Mr. Jobs." Darren hissed impatiently. "Now can you hurry the hell up and actually _make_ the bomb?"

"Yes, yes. Hold your horses." Paris replied politely. "I shall construct the bomb here, then we will transport it, hide it beneath the stage, and evacuate the premises with you and Ronnie. Then we shall return to the colosseum to - "

"Be Kade's cheerleaders!" Kurda interrupted joyfully.

"More or less, yes. Once the rodeo has concluded, we will return to the Air Canada Center and - "

"Be Ronnie's entourage!" Kurda chirped with growing delight.

"And there you have it." Paris finalized with an impish smile.

"We should... get going." Harkat wheezed. "I told Kade...I would...clean the stall...before she...came back from...warmup."

"Yeah, we should motor if we're gonna finish this bomb on time." Arrow added casually.

"This situation is an utter abomination." Seba grumbled. "When I was your age, if we wanted to wreck something, we just lit it on fire or whacked it with hammers!"

"Those are good backup plans." Mika snickered. "We'll keep those in mind."

"They had hammers back then?" Arrow asked skeptically.

"A-_bomb_-ination... silly Seba." Kurda giggled.

"So long, boys. Over and out." said Paris, tapping _disconnect Facetime_. Once Mika, Darren, Kurda, and Larten's faces disappeared from the screen, Paris turned to face his remaining companions.

"And now, someone bring me a wire, fuse, gasoline, a lighter, and a cell phone."

###

"What do you think of the neckline on this dress?" Ronnie asked casually, criticizing herself in front of her mirror, modelling a midnight blue halter-top cocktail dress hemmed with tiny diamonds.

"It'll blow up the stage." Kurda gulped with glazed eyes.

"Interesting metaphor." Ronnie shrugged. "I like it!"

"You're gonna blow our cover!" Mika hissed at Kurda. "Don't look so strung out! Be cool, man!"

"Something wrong, Mika?" Ronnie inquired casually as she skimmed over her shoe options.

"Nothing at all, dear." the dark Prince chirped, putting on his angel face. "May I suggest the white peep-toe pumps?"

Ronnie looked slightly startled by the masculine Vampire's sudden fashion advice, but nonetheless she slipped the shoes on and grinned widely at the results.

"That was my idea, you son of a bitch!" Kurda freaked. "I swear, I'm gonna blow this whole place up! AGGGHHH!"

He threw a handbag at Mika's face and stalked out of the room. Ronnie looked puzzled for a moment, then went back to analyzing several different pictures of potential hairstyles.

"I don't think she's suspicious... yet." Mika mumbled.

"I'll do damage control anyway." Darren sighed, getting up and going after Kurda.

"It will be nothing short of a miracle if we pull this off." Larten muttered to himself. "And it will be a bonus if everyone comes out alive."

###

"Hey Harkie, where is everyone?" Kade inquired as she walked Shasta out of the warm-up arena. The horse was prancing and sweating buckets after a vigorous workout.

"Paris is... working on his documentary. Seba is... helping him. And Arrow is... washing your... truck since he... misses his Hummer... so greatly."

In actual fact, all three of them were scrambling to assemble the bomb, but Harkat was a slick little liar when he had to be.

"Well when you see them, tell'em to get their butts back here." Kade replied tensely. Now that her preliminary warmup was over, the nerves were starting to set in.

"Yes...dear." said Harkat cheerfully, climbing a gate and using it as a ladder so he could hop onto Shasta's back for a free ride back to the stalls.

Meanwhile, in a boiler room somewhere in the same building...

Seba was leaning against one of the warm water boilers with a faded grin on his face. He looked incredibly comfortable. Paris was wearing a pair of spectacle-binoculars and tinkering with what appeared to be a structured pile of junk. Arrow was watching closely, occasionally chipping in bits of advice on how to make it look cooler. When Paris slapped him and told him to piss off, he busied himself by making a call to Harkat.

"So, Greyskull. How much time do we got till the chutes open at 2pm?"

On the other end, the Little Person folded his arms crossly and replied,

"I told... you. If we're...using code names... I'm_...Hark The Hawk_."

"But that's so laame." Arrow whined. "And _obvious!_"

"It's better... than yours... _Arrowhead Shark."_

"Nevermind." Arrow huffed into the reciever. "What's your status?"

"Well... Kade is... on the phone... with Ronnie... right now. Neither of them... suspect a... thing. Shasta is... resting. The pre-show...just started... in the main arena... and the rodeo starts at... 2, so you have... about... an hour... and a half."

"Thanks, Hawk. Over 'n' out." Arrow replied, hitting _end_. Then he dialed Mika.

"Sup, Shark?" said Mika, picking up his phone after a glance at call display.

"Everything's cool over here. What's your status, Night Panther?" Arrow replied.

"Well, Subject A is finishing up her hairdo, my gods it's taken her all freaking day. Pretty soon she's gonna start getting her dress and stuff together then she'll be ready to go on stage. Till we blow the place." Mika reported.

"Wait, Subject A is Kurda, right?" Arrow inquired with puzzlement.

"No, dumbass. Subject A is Ronnie. Kurda is Baby Phoenix."

"Then who's Darren?"

"Squirrelnuts."

"I thought he was Red Fox?"

"That's Larten."

"Remind me why we're using code names?"

"Because this is the closest we'll ever get to Black Ops."

"Gotcha."

"Over 'n' out, Shark."

"That's _Arrowhead Shark. _Peace out, Panther."

"See ya on the flip-side."

"Ten - four."

"What the hell does that mean?"

_Click_.

"Panther's report is all-clear." Arrow informed Paris. "How's the operation going, Wise Owl?"

Paris grunted in response as he furiously connected fuses.

"How 'bout you, Lesser Prairie Chicken?" Arrow asked Seba, who was still cuddling the water heater tank.

Paris looked up with an expression of bemusement.

"That's an actual species. I looked it up." Arrow shrugged.

"Note to self... google that." Paris -aka Wise Owl- murmured under is breath as he went back to bomb-making.

Arrow became bored.

"I'm going to locate Greysk- I mean, Hark The Hawk. We're gonna go for a reconaissance mission to the popcorn stands." the bald Prince announced, making an exit. "See ya on the ten - four side, or whatever the hell it is."

###

Arrow located Kade and Harkat, already at the popcorn stand on the upper floor that overlooked the arena.

"Hey." Kade greeted with a simple smile. "I haven't seen you all day - did you get lost?"

"Yeah, no, I was... _Harkat, what was my cover story_?" he hissed at the Little Person.

Harkat cupped his hand around his ear hole and made an exaggerated eye-roll.

"Fine." Arrow grunted. "_Hawk_, where did you tell her I was?"

"Cleaning her... truck." Hark The Hawk replied sweetly.

Luckily, Kade was pumping her bag of popcorn full of butter at this point, so she did not catch this.

"I was making your truck pretty, like you like." Arrow grinned, sliding up beside Kade and darting his hand into her popcorn bag.

"_Arrow _and _pretty_ in the same sentence? What's going on here?" Kade smirked.

"NOTHING!" Arrow and Harkat shot back, a little too quickly. Kade crinkled her eyebrows in a moment of suspicion, but it faded as she glanced down at the arena below them.

"I've never been this nervous." she admitted miserably. "This stupid weekend has messed my head up, I don't even know if I'm in the game. When I warmed up this morning, I felt like I couldn't even see straight."

"I know." Arrow patted her back gently as they slowly walked down the hall. "There's a lot on the line. 100000$ prize money, right?"

"It's not even that. This is just so far from what I imagined Finals Weekend to turn out like. We were supposed to be here together... I can't do this without everyone, you're my best friends." she swiped a tear out of her eye.

"I'm sure... Ronnie feels... the same." Harkat added, wrapping his little grey hand around Kade's.

"She does." Kade replied with a hint of a smile. "I was talking to her a few minutes ago. "Y'know how confident she always is? Well, right now she's so scared she doesn't think she can even walk in heels. Ronnie! _Not _in heels! Can you imagine?"

"So... it'd really help you if Ronn was here right now, right?" Arrow asked innocently.

"It really really would." Kade sighed as she stopped by a guard rail and stared down at the massive sand arena below. "Like, having each other around wouldn't take our fears away, or make the competition any easier. I still might blow every turn and Ronnie might not hit all her notes, but if all of us were together for this... both of us would feel like we've already won."

Arrow - tough, badass, man-slaying Prince Arrow - felt a tear come to the corner of his big mean eyeball, and he raised his arm to wrap it around Kade's shoulders - when all of a sudden, his phone buzzed with a vengeance. He stole a glance at it -

**To: ArrowheadShark**

**From: WiseOwl**

**Subject: ITS GO TIME!111**

**Message: the explosive is ready to be implemented! We must go NOW!**

**_Sent from my iPhone. _**

Harkat got an identical message, and he ushered Arrow away before he could give Kade so much as a hug or an explanation.

"You'll thank...me later!" the Little Person said firmly as he dragged Arrow down the hall, out the door, and into the truck where Seba and Paris were waiting in the back seat, holding a large box between them - labelled _NOT A BOMB!_

Harkat leapt into the driver's seat while Arrow buckled in shotgun and fired off a quick cover-story text to Kade - "_that popcorn didnt agree with us :( srrryyyy! we'll be outta the bathroom ASAP. luv arrow & harkie"_

"Lock and load, bring on the paaaaaiin!" Seba screeched as they sped from the parking lot.

"My dear Lesser Prairie Chicken, Don't let Mika find out you used his catchphrase." Paris suggested lightly. "Anyway, folks. Listen up. I am fairly sure that this bomb will not blow up the entire continent.

"Fairly sure. That's not bad." Arrow shrugged fairly.

"What's a... Lesser Prairie...Chicken?" Harkat demanded.

_"The Lesser Prairie Chicken, Tympanuchus pallidicinctus, a species in the grouse family, is slightly smaller and paler than its near relative the Greater Prairie Chicken. It is found primarily in the sandhills and prairies of Western Oklahoma." _Paris read off his iPad. "Would you like me to continue? I just got the _iAmCuckoo4Birds _app. Features every single species known to man!"

"No thanks. And how did...that come to...be Seba's...codename?"

"Long story." Paris huffed.

"Just drive, Hawk!" Arrow begged. "Beat that red light!"

Harkat obliged.

"NOT THAT FAS-...Oh dear lord, Mulds... I think you just hit a SmartCar."

"We do have...a bad track record... with those..."

###

"Is this necklace too much?" Ronnie demanded, holding a diamond pendant up to her neck.

"Doooo it!" Kurda encouraged. "It totally matches the sparklies on the dress."

Ronnie smiled and fasted the clasp at the back of her neck.

"Hey, Ronn." Mika called cautiously from the other side of the room as he pawed through her bag of accessories. "What do you think about _this_?"

It was a miracle. He'd found a glittering accessory that he did not want to throw into the deepest darkest part of the ocean - a black leather bracelet studded with diamond spikes.

"Awww Mika! Look at you, you're just like a straight Adam Lambert! Since when are you a champ at accessorizing?" the bubbly blonde took the bracelet and happily snapped it around her wrist, beaming as the diamonds reflected the colour of her dress.

Mika shrugged. "I just like it cuz the spikes are actually spikey. They made my finger bleed."

Kurda looked a bit queasy upon hearing that one. Ronnie handed him a water bottle before turning to face the mirror one more time, staring herself up and down critically.

"You're beautiful. And you're the best singer in the entire universe." Darren muttered into her ear so no one else could hear. "You've got this. I have no doubt in my mind."

She took his warm hand into her little black-nailed one.

"_I am so nervous_." she whispered back into his ear. "And you know me, you know I'm never nervous."

"This competition is everything you've ever dreamed of." Darren replied gently.

"I'm happy to be here. But this isn't how I thought it was going to happen." she answered with sad blue eyes.

Just then, Darren's phone buzzed for an incoming message:

**TO: SQUIRRELNUTS**

**FROM: HARK THE HAWK**

**SUBJECT: TIME TO GTFO**

**MESSAGE: BOMB HAS BEEN...PLANTED! TIME TO...GO! NOW! WE WILL... BE AT...RONNIES DRESSING...ROOM...IN 30...SECONDS...OR LESS!**

The others had recieved identical messages.

"Does Harkat know he doesn't have to breathe between words when he texts?" Mika inquired bemusedly.

Darren saw an opportunity.

"Ronn, make a wish."

"Why?" his girlfriend asked curiously.

"Just do it, okay?"

He knew exactly what she'd wish for. And it was about to come true.

Ronnie closed her eyes and assumed a wishful expression.

A door slammed open at the exact second she opened her eyes.

In the doorway stood Arrow, Harkat, Paris, and Seba. All of whom were out of breath and looking wildly excited.

"WE HAVE TO GET OUT BEFORE IT BLOWS!" Paris shrieked.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Ronnie panicked.

"Your wish just came true. I'll explain in the car." Darren promised, taking her hand and gently pulling her out the door, followed by Mika, Kurda, and Larten.

###

Ronnie, Darren, Mika, Arrow, and Kurda leapt into the pink Silverado whilst Paris, Seba, Harkat, and Larten commandeered the Escalade.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?" Ronnie demanded as they careened out of the parking lot. "I'm gonna miss the contest!"

"Thanks to Paris's DIY terrorist app, no you're not." Arrow replied happily.

"Explain." Ronnie ordered furiously.

"We're blowing up the stage." Mika specified.

"WHAT?"

"Just temporarily." Darren clarified. "See, Paris built a bomb - just a little bitty one. They put it under the stage where you were gonna sing, and when it blows it'll put a nice big hole right in the middle of it. And they can't have a contest on a holey stage, and they can't cancel the contest because the celebrity judges have already landed, so they're gonna have to delay for repairs."

Ronnie's sapphire eyes became huge as the reality sunk in.

"And we know about repair time, from... past experiences." Mika chuckled. "So while they're busting ass to get the stage ready..."

"We'll be watching Round One of the _Ronnie 'n' Kade Toronto Tour 2011_!" Kurda squealed delightedly, pointing to the pink crystals on his hoodie.

"LET'S RODEOOOO!" Arrow whooped gleefully, punching the steering wheel.

"And once Kade has her championship buckle, we'll book it back to the AC Center where you can sing your heart out, darlin'." Darren finished with a wide grin.

"You guys..." Ronnie croaked, almost completely speechless.

"Ooh, one second." Mika turned the radio up.

_"...has been confirmed that there has been a small explosion at the Air Canada Center, directly beneath the stage where the StarSearch Singoff competition was set to occur at 2pm today. There were no injuries, however the main stage was severely damaged. While the cause of the explosion is unknown, the police have deemed the area safe once again, and construction crews have been dispatched. The Singoffwill be taking place at 6pm tonight. That's 6pm, Eastern standard time. You can also tune in on channel-"_

One lane away from the Silverado...

"WE DID IT!" Paris screeched, drowning out the radio in the Escalade. "IT ACTUALLY WORKED!"

"Of course it...did." said Harkat.

"Oh my dear boy, I was uncertain whether the bomb would bring the entire building down, or if it would even go off at all!" Paris replied with an expression of delighted disbelief. "ALL HAIL THE APP STORE!"

"It is the 'no injuries' part that amazes me." Larten sighed.

"It was still nothing short of an abomination!" Seba opinionated. "Driving around in these despicable vehicles, from a place full of animal defecations to a place where one cannot breathe for the amount of hair products in the atmosphere..."

"While I must admit that neither rodeo nor competitive singing is my idea of an enjoyable pasttime... I AM SO EXCITED!" Larten burst out unexpectedly. His fellow passengers fell silent.

"My apologies. That was an unecessary outburst. It will not happen again." the ginger Vampire muttered, turning bright red.

###

2pm struck. It was rodeo time.

Kade sat on Shasta's back along with her fellow competitors, standing in the small low-ceiling arena that opened into the gigantic colosseum She was worried, stressed, and everything in between. There had been no sign of Vampire life since Arrow and Harkat had been struck down by popcorn digestion disagreement. Had she not been in the saddle with a million other things to think about, she would have broken down the door to the men's room. But it worried her that she hadn't seen Paris or Seba either. And Ronnie hadn't answered her cell. Maybe something was going on...

Who was she kidding? This was the Vampire Mountain clan. Of course there was something going on. But now was not the time to think about it. Whatever it was, whether it was legal trouble, or they'd been struck my buses, or maybe they were just playing hide and seek... it could wait.

The flag riders galloped into the arena at top speed, and the audience fell silent for the traditional Cowboy Prayer followed by the national anthem. Kade removed her hat respectfully and stared down at Shasta's strawberry blonde mane cascading down the left side of her muscular neck.

"At least I have you." Kade murmured, casually braiding three strands of soft horsehair while she waited. Shasta snuffled hopefully and reached back to nibble on the toe of her rider's boot.

"You can have a treat later." Kade giggled. "I'll get Harkat to make your favourite caramel apples. As long as you let Mr. Crepsley brush your teeth afterwards."

"Talkin' to yourself, Kadey? You must be more nervous than I thought."

Kade's eyes went huge as the familiar voice graced her ears. She slowly turned in her saddle to look behnd her, and her jaw dropped.

Ronnie, her would-be twin sister and best friend on the entire planet was walking up to her, wearing a glittering dress, white cowboy boots, and a silver sequined cowboy hat. Following close behind her was Arrow, Darren, Harkat, Mika, Kurda, Paris, Seba, and Larten. Every last one of them decked out in cowboy hats (Seba's hat was on sideways, but it's the thought that counts.) cowboy boots... and sporting their customized _Toronto Tour 2011_ hoodies.

"You guys..." Kade squeaked.

"That's what I said." noted Ronnie, standing beside her best friend and patting Shasta's neck.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have to sing, like right now?" Kade yelped, glancing at the clock.

"There was a slight modification to the schedule." Ronnie grinned.

"We did what we do best." Mika snorted.

"We created a...clever diversion." said Harkat.

"We used the resources available to us to achieve our means." Larten added.

"We used the almighty power of Apple's infinite wisdom!" Paris exhalted.

"We did not have time to stop for wifflewafers." Seba grumbled.

"So... to summarize all that, we blew something up." Arrow concluded.

Kade rolled her eyes. "Why am I not suprised? I thought you and Harkat were in the bathroom because you ate popcorn that didn't agree with you?"

"You TOLD her that?" Ronnie cringed. "Oh laawd."

"You know I hate lying to you." Arrow shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "But it was the only way."

"I'll punish you later." Kade smirked. "So, what did you blow up this time?"

"We made a nice little hole in the stage at the Air Canada Center. Not big enough to bring the roof down, just enough to keep the construction crew busy till the rodeo's done." Paris explained happily.

"You know you should be locked up for this, right?" said Ronnie with raised eyebrows.

"You know _you _should buy us a lifetime supply of beef jerky for this, right?" Mika mimicked.

"I'm so glad you guys are here. I thought I was gonna have to do this on my own." Kade admitted.

"It's all you." Ronnie encouraged. "We're just here to be cheerleaders."

Kurda whipped out his purse-sized collapsable emergency-only pink pompoms.

"Gods help us." Mika groaned.

"GIMME A K! GIMME A D! GIMME AN E! GIMME A Y! GIMME...um...ANOTHER E! WUZZAT SPELL?"

"KD...eye." Darren pointed out.

"YOU GUYS ARE SO UNLITERATE!" Kurda raged. "IT SPELLS KADEY!"

"Of course it does..." Kade sighed.

Unfortunately, it seemed Kurda's performance had awakened a nearby security guard.

"No friends allowed behind the chutes." he drawled.

"They're family!" Kade protested. "See, there's my grandpas-" She pointed at Paris, who was reading up on the history of rodeo. "And my uncles-" she pointed at Arrow and Mika who were in the middle of a thumb war. "My nephew who has a skin condition so don't you dare stare-" She pointed at Harkat, decked out in kiddie Wrangler jeans, a plaid shirt, little boots, and a cowboy hat. "My dad -" she pointed at Larten, who was glaring at Darren. "My sister-" she pointed at Ronnie, who smiled radiantly at the frazzled guard. "My brother-in-law-" she pointed at Darren, whose arm was draped around Ronnie's waist (the reason for Larten's glare) "And finally, my...umm...brother?" That was Kurda, who was spinning in a circle trying to read the tag on the back of his bedazzled hoodie.

"What about that guy?" the guard asked skeptically, pointing at Seba who was yelling at a bull.

"I've never seen him before in my life and I don't know how he got in here, take him away." Kade replied politely.

"Yeah we'll take care of that. But no family allowed." the guard shot back.

"What about cheerleaders?"

"Nope."

"What about bodyguards?"

"Nuh uh."

"What if they worked here?"

"Miss, I'll go to the main office right now and scratch your entry from this rodeo if you don't get your freakshow out of here."

"...freakshow..." Darren and Ronnie shared a giggle.

"Bite me!" Kade snapped at the guard.

"Kayden, watch your mouth." Larten snapped.

"No need for anyone to get verbally abusive. We shall return to our seats." Paris interjected politely.

"Good luck, Kade. You've got this." said Arrow breathlessly, squeezing her hand.

"Lock and load, bring on the pain." Mika ordered.

"Run...fast." said Harkat, hugging Shasta's knees.

"Do not knock down those abominable giant soup cans." Seba added.

"You mean the _barrels_?" Paris rolled his eyes.

"One seccy. You don't wanna get your handsies tangled up." Kurda insisted as he whipped Shasta's mane into a quick French braid to keep it out of the way, and secured it with his own favourite turquoise hair elastic.

"You've made it this far, you're already a champion. Just enjoy the ride." Ronnie added, patting her best friend's knee.

"But don't forget to steer." Darren contriubted.

"How long is this going to take?" the security guard bitched.

"Okay, guys. Begone." Kade giggled, giving each of her friends a high-five before they walked away. Except Harkat couldn't quite reach her hand, so she leaned down and patted his head.

The brief visit had given her everything she needed.

###

Once the Vampires were situated in the stands - and Seba had gotten over his fear of being eaten by the folding seats - Kurda withdrew his cheerleading supplies from his massive BeBe shoulder bag. Several pink foam fingers, his pompoms, an air horn, a loudspeaker, and several hand-made glitter-glued posters with slogans such as "GO KADE GO" and "Kayden 4 the W1N!"

'DIBS ON THE AIR HORN!" Arrow hollered, reaching over and swiping it. Harkat and Seba took the foam fingers, Ronnie grabbed the loudspeaker, and Larten and Mika each took a poster. Paris prepared a sign of his own on his iPad screen (because there's an app for that) and Kurda of course readied his pompoms. The Vampire Mountain contingent did not notice the fact that people in nearby seats were beginning to move away from them.

"Aaaaaaand now, ladies and gentlemen, can you feel the ground shaking? PLEASE WELCOME THE FASTEST ATHLETES IN THE SPORT OF RODEO, THE BEAUTIFUL BARREL RACERS!" the announcer bellowed into his microphone.

Streams of sparks shot upwards from either side of the chutes, as the doors swung open and a line of women on horseback cruised into the arena at full speed.

"OOH THERE'S KADEY!" Kurda screeched deafeningly, pointing his pompoms at the girl on the strawberry blonde horse near the front of the line. On cue, the Vampires went wild, forming a caccophany of flying foam fingers, blaring air horns, glittering posters, and indecipherable screaming.

The barrel racers made one lap around the arena, then shot out the chute just as quickly as they'd entered.

"DID SHE WIN? DID SHE WIN?" Kurda demanded, leaping up and down in excitement.

"Oh you poor thing..." Ronnie sighed, patting his shoulder. "That was just the intro, sweetie. To get the crowd pumped up."

"But...she won, right?" Kurda puzzled.

"Okay, think of it this way. You know on American Idol, when all the contestants come out at the beginning and do a song together, but it's just for fun? Like, the judges don't judge it? That's what that was." Ronnie explained.

Kurda sat down and fell speechless, trying to figure out what had just happened. The rest of the crew sat down tensely and waited for Kade's turn. Paris, Larten, and Harkat applauded politely for Kade's fellow competitors as they made their runs, each seemingly faster and more precise than the next.

"DON'T SCREW UP!" Mika, Arrow, and Ronnie bellowed repeatedly in an effort to phsych them out, on the off chance that their voices could be heard from the arena.

"Excellent sportsmanship." Paris rolled his eyes.

Mika rolled his eyes right back, and unzipped his hoodie to reveal the graphic tee he was wearing underneath - _Sportsmanship Is For Losers ! _scrawled across the chest.

"See, Mika? Shirts with words are fun! I just wish all of mine weren't upside-down." Kurda sighed, looking down at his chest. "I mean, it's just mine! All of yous' guyses' shirts are right-side-"

"HERE SHE COMES!" Arrow interrupted.

###

Kade was running last, apparently. She'd watched every single competitor fly through the chute, whip around the 3 cans and come tearing back. 8 excellent runs, she didn't know if she could finish on top today.

The 9th rider shot past her. 13 seconds later, the crowd gave a collective sigh - she must have taken a barrel down. 5 seconds would be added onto her time. That was all it took to move her time to the bottom of the leaderboard.

The announcer called for a pause as arena officials restored the barrel to its' upright position, and the sand around all three barrels was raked neatly, as they were between every run. Kade moved Shasta into the opening of the chute, preparing for the moment her name was called. The little horse knew what was coming, and pranced in anticipation, snorting like a dragon.

_You've made it this far, you're already a champion. _Ronnie's words hovered in her mind, cutting through her mental fog like a lighthouse. _Just enjoy the ride._

"And now ladies and gentlemen, please welcome into the arena... our final barrel racer for the afternoon, Miss Kayden Stone! The time to beat is 16.2 seconds, caaan she do it?" the announcer blared in his rough scratchy amplified voice that had a way of making a competitor's nerves jangle.

Like he did for every run, the rodeo DJ cued up a raucous song to rev up the crowd. Kade heard the familiar ripping guitar rift of her all-time favourite pump-up tune, Nickelback's _Something In Your Mouth. _Her blood turned to fire and everything but the three barrels in front of her vanished from her mind. Shasta arched her neck and danced into the chute. Kade would restrain her until they reached the arena, as always.

For a moment, she mentally called back a line she'd heard in Mika and Arrow's favourite movie, _Cars._

_Focus. Speed. I am speed. I eat losers for breakfast. Faster than fast, quicker than quick. _

_I am lightning._

The arena lights blinded her for a moment as she reached the end of the chute. There was a split millisecond of calm as her eyes adjusted to the brightness. She stroked Shasta's muscular neck and whispered,

_"Let's get 'em."_

Then they were off, flying like a bullet from a gun. Kade never used whips or spurs as her fellow competitors often did; Shasta ran on heart and pure adrenaline. The trip from the gate to the first barrel passed in a breathless blur as Shasta twisted around it with the grace and ferocity of a barracuda. One down, two to go. Four hooves pounding across the short distance to can #2 - shorter than it should have been. Kade pushed into the turn too soon, and her knee grazed painfully around the rim of the barrel. But the pain was more mental than physical, her heart went into her mouth as the barrel wobbled and threatened to tip. If that happened... game over. But Shasta leaned hard to the right and Kade threw herself purposely off-balance to lose contact with the barrel. It stayed standing, and Kade narrowly managed to save herself from falling. She yanked herself back upright before Shasta could lose any speed, and drove hard up the arena to the final make-or-break turn.

_Don't hesitate. Fly right past it, then turn. _

As she neared the final barrel, a wave of familiar noise broke her concentration, and she had to force herself not to look up. Mika and Arrow were hollering like the warlords they were, Paris was screaming out advice he was currently reading off his _iRodeo_ app, Kurda was spelling her name wrong in that godforsaken cheer of his, Ronnie was screaming, and someone blasting an air horn for all it was worth.

_Gods, I love them._

She shot past the barrel, no longer listening; their voices faded into the roar of the crowd, the blaring music, and the announcer's brash commentary. And 2 feet out from the barrel, she made her final turn. Shasta pivoted gracefully, both front feet leaving the ground like war horse about to charge. Then charge she did. Kade leaned forward on her neck as Shasta put one hundred percent into the final sprint home, cutting a straight path through the noise and light that streamed down from all angles. She wasn't sure, but she thought she could still pick out the sound of the air horn.

And then it was over. She broke the time line and burned through the chute, gradually slowing her pace until she came to a standstill, breathless.

"Good girl." she panted, petting Shasta's neck. The hyper horse spun in a circle, chomping on the bit and eager to run again.

The P.A. system crackled to life again. Kade's back went stiff, she was about to hear her time and find out whether it had been enough.

"Aaaand we have a leaderboard change, ladies and gents. Miss Kayden Stone moves into the top spot with a smokin' hot time of 16 seconds flat! Congratulations to all our finalists and we hope to see them out next year!"

Everything went in slow motion, Kade's head buzzed and she felt giddily clumsy and uncoordinated as she was ushered into the arena for a victory lap. _Was this actually happening?_

When she came back through the chute for the last time, there they were. Ronnie, Darren, Arrow, Mika, Harkat, Kurda, Larten, and Seba - all cheering wildly. As she pulled Shasta to a halt, they rushed at her and attacked her in a gigantic tangled hug. Before her feet even touched the ground, Arrow swept her up and unashamedly planted a gigantic kiss straight in the middle of her face.

"You did it!" he croaked, voice raw from cheering.

"Apparently." Kade replied breathlessly.

"THAT'S MY TWINNER!" Ronnie shrieked, shoving Arrow aside to give Kade a proper hug.

"My goodness, Kayden. That was a spectacular run indeed. Very technically correct, despite your near-disaster halfway through." Larten complimented.

"I thought the second can was a downer for sure." Mika added.

"You appeared you were going to... how do you say it? Kiss the dirt." Paris commented. "Look, I have it all on video." he held up his iPad for all to see - and for once, everyone actually looked.

"They even played my song!" Kade remembered delightedly. "I couldn't believe it!"

"That might have had something to do with Harkat's sweet-talking skills, a caramel apple, and a very hungry and bribe-able DJ." Larten sniggered.

"Oh Harkie!" Kade squealed, hugging the Little Person tightly. "You're too sweet. As long as you have some caramel apples left over for Shasta. She's earned her junk food."

"So have you." Arrow grinned, whipping out a bag of _Bits & Bites - Honey Roasted Garlic Flavour._

"YOU DIDN'T!" Kade gasped in awe, snatching up the bag and munching happily. "I love you guys!" she announced through a full mouth.

"Ew." Kurda whined.

"How ladylike." Larten snorted.

Kade flipped him off.

"I hate to interrupt this delightfully victorious love-fest, but if we want to stick to our ideal schedule, it would be adviseable for us to leave this place sooner than later. Traffic is terrible at this time of day, and Ronnie still needs to make preparations for her performance." Paris announced as he reviewed their schedule.

"K. As soon as I take care of Shasta, we're outta here." Kade replied, turning to head back to the stalls with her tired horse in tow. Harkat made a move to climb into the saddle, but Kurda pulled him back.

"Nuh uhhh Harkie. My turn."

"Oh gods, Kurda... I guess one ride won't kill ya." Kade sighed, directing the bumbling blonde vampire as he clumsily pulled himself into the saddle. Shasta looked extremely miffed as Kurda floundered around on her back.

"Extra carrots for putting up with this one." Kade promised.

"Omgz guys, I'm SO HIGH!" Kurda squeaked, waving. "You all look like little ants from up here!"

"I'm still almost at eye-level with you, but okay." Arrow shrugged.

"I can feel the wind in my face!" Kurda gasped. "I've never felt so freeeeee!"

"You know the horse hasn't moved yet, right?" Mika pointed out.

Kade lead Shasta forward. As soon as the horse took a step, Kurda promptly lost his balance, shrieked, and toppled to the side in a dusty heap on the floor.

"Wow. You were up there almost 8 seconds." Mika smirked, giving Kurda a hand to get back on his feet. "We'll make a bull rider out of you yet."

"But... bull riders have to wear those aaahhww-fulll hockey helmets and unflattering plaid shirts... AND that shock-absorby body armour. I refuse." Kurda stated flatly.

"He can be a rodeo clown." Ronnie suggested playfully. "Lots of makeup and colourful shirts."

"That involves getting dirty and hiding in barrels that occasionally get headbutted by furious bulls." Kade noted.

"Okay. That'll be MY job." Mika added happily.

"I wanna learn to rope." Arrow added, sneakily eyeing a nearby lasso draped over a gate as the gang made their way back to the stall area.

"I WANNA DO _THAT_." Kurda added delightedly as he pointed out the 2011 Little Miss Rodeo Ambassador as she rode into the arena, decked out in unlimited glitter and wearing a huge cheezy smile, with a little sliver crown attached to her cowboy hat.

"Well, if we ever start an annual Vampire Mountain Rodeo, we'll take that into consideration." Darren rolled his eyes.

"But we gotta MOVE here." Ronnie hustled along.

"Autobots, ROLL OUT!" Mika ordered.

"Dude, I want my Transformers DVDs back NOW." Kade replied.

"What he means is; Vampires, EVACUATE!" Paris added with a dramatic hand gesture.

###

Once Shasta had been bathed clean of sweat and returned to her stall for a well-deserved nap, the gang split off into their two vehicles and began the mad dash across the city to the AC Center where construction for the stage was well on the way.

_"We have a confirmed report that all three of the mystery celeb judges have checked into the Air Canada Center to prepare for tonight's performance which will indeed be on time for 6pm, as rescheduled." _the radio babbled in the Escalade.

"I'm dyyyying to know who the celeb judges are!" Kurda gasped in suspense. Paris began screening through profiles of various musicians on his iPad, debating which ones could potentially be guest judges.

Ronnie said nothing, she'd retreated into her competition head-zone - earphones on, music loud, eyes closed. Meanwhile in the pink Silverado driving behind them, there was a full-on party underway. Kade was popping bottles of Jones soda (the champagne was to be saved for after Ronnie's moment in the spotlight) and Arrow was double-fisting handfuls of celebratory beef jerky. Seba had been given a single piece of the dry flavourful meat, and was still stumped as to what it actually was. At least he'd forgotten about the CN Tower.

###

"So, this is definitely the one, right?" Ronnie asked anxiously, scrutinizing her appearance in front of the full-length mirror in her dressing room. Her blonde hair had been meticulously curled into perfect spirals, which bounced as she moved.

"Hoe yeah. You'll knock 'em all out." Kade approved with a thumbs-up.

"The shoes and bracelet were a perfect idea, Mika. Thanks." Ronnie gave the dark Prince a quick friendly hug.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Kade and Arrow chorused in shock, staring at a very startled Mika.

"I...stole the idea from Kurda." he defended. "Let's just focus on Ronnie here, people."

"What song are you singing?" Kurda inquired hopefully.

"It's a secret." Ronnie giggled, rubbing Kurda's fluffy blonde hair playfully. "But you'll all love it, I promise. It's perfect." Ronnie and Kade exchanged a knowing smile. Then for the first time since they'd left the rodeo arena, Ronnie observed that Kade was still wearing her dusty jeans and black fringed western shirt. Wordlessly, the blonde plunged into her suitcase and withdrew several articles of clothing and threw them at Kade, one by one - a pair of black ripped jeans, a rhinestone-studded white tank top, and a pair of glittering pink high-heeled cowboy boots.

"Charna's twinkles." Kade yelped, staring at the outfit. "Are you sure, Ronn? I'm fine with the stuff I have on."

"Sweetie, I can see the dust floating around you every time you move." Ronnie replied perkily. "There's no time to give you a proper makeover so this is the least I can do."

"Well alrighty then." Kade grinned, stepping behind the curtain to change. When she re-emerged in all her sparkling glory, Paris snapped an obligatory photograph. As it turned out, Kade wasn't the only one sharing in Kurda and Ronnie's dazzling array of glamorous accessories. Like how each Vampire had been outfitted with a pair of cowboy boots and a hat for the rodeo, they were now playing up their (almost non-existent) glamorous side to the best of their abilities. Kurda had gone all-out of course, and was sporting tight white jeans which contrasted magnificently with his black _Ronnie 'n' Kade_ hoodie. Mika was also wearing his hoodie (they were mandatory - Kurda's orders.) along with a pair of men's Guess brand jeans, decorated with silver studs on the back pockets. The look was finished off nicely with his customary aviator shades. Arrow was rocking a white tank top (like Kade's, but minus the glitter) beneath his unzipped _R 'n' K _ hoodie. He was still wearing his cowboy boots (he'd developed a fondness for them) and a pair of Silver brand jeans with some manly embellishing on the pockets. Paris, Seba, and Larten were each wearing camo pants in a different shade - blue scheme for Paris, green for Seba, and red for Larten. Prior to this, no one had been aware that red camo even existed. Seba was wearing a rapper hat, Paris sported a fedora, and Larten had spike-gelled his small amount of orange hair. Finally there was Harkat, wrapped in a feather boa, a blonde wig, and a pair of purple rhinestoned Betsey Johnson shades - the Vampires unanimously agreed that they wanted a daughter for a change, so Harkat obliged.

Show Biz, meet the Clan of the Undead.

_"Would all contestants in tonight's StarSearch Singoff please report backstage immediately."_ a grumpy voice crackled over the P.A. system.

"I gotta go!" Ronnie yelped. "Guess I'll see you all from center stage." she added with a nervous giggle.

"Yeah, how could you miss 'em?" Kade snickered, observing the extravagantly outfitted gang.

"I'm scared, twinner." Ronnie gulped in an undertone as she and Kade stepped out of the room. "This is the big one. If I blow this, I'll have nothing to show for how far I've come."

"A few hours ago I was thinking the same thing." Kade answered with an encouraging nod. "I took a deep breath and remembered why I was there, and what I was thankful for. Because I realized everything in the world that matters to me would be waiting at the finish line, no matter what happened in the arena. So you get out there and make that stage your bitch, Veronica Dexter. Push past everyone and everything and just take it."

"You're so much better at being motivational after you've gotten your winning paycheck." Ronnie noted with a nervous smile, wrapping her best friend in a hug. "Thanks, sister."

_"Yee yee woot woot, why you all in my ear?"_ Kade sang with an impish grin.

_"Talkin a whole buncha shit that I ain't tryna hear!" _Ronnie continued deviously.

_"GET BACK MOTHAFUCKA YOU DUNNO ME LIKE THAT!" _the two girls shrieked in unison.

"Veronica and Kayden are insulting each other again. I do not understand." Larten shook his head.

"Let it go, Creps." Mika shrugged.

"But it is simply ludicrous!" Larten huffed.

"Hell yeah it's Ludacris." Kade smirked, returning to the group as Darren pulled Ronnie off to the side for some much quieter words of encouragement. He took both her hands in his and stared down into her starry eyes, his lips barely moving. But a priceless smile broke out on her face, and she reached up for the kiss.

Mika drew breath to whistle, and Kade sharply clapped a hand down over his mouth, effectively silencing him.

"D'aaawwwwww." Kurda sighed dreamily, hugging himself and starting happily at Ronnie and Darren.

"Okay creepers, let's go get the best seats in the house." Kade insisted, hauling Mika and Arrow away. Darren reluctantly gave Ronnie a final hug before rejoining the group, and Ronnie opened the door labelled _BACKSTAGE: Authorized Personnel ONLY_ and disappeared behind it.

###

They founds some fantastic seats near the front row with an unbeatable view. However, to find a consecutive row of 9 empty seats, Mika and Arrow were forced to slip into their bodyguard roles and casually toss a few small children into the row behind them. Nothing out of the ordinary. Once the seats were saved and guarded, Mika and Harkat slipped out on a popcorn run. By the time they got back, arms laden with nachos, burgers, liters of sodapop, and french fries (they'd forgotten the popcorn) the lights were dimming and they would have gotten lost had it not been for Kurda's bright white pants that apparently glowed in the dark. No sooner had they sat down, when a shower of confetti poured down onto the stage and guest judges came forth.

Those who knew who they were - Kade, Darren, Mika, Arrow, Kurda, and Paris - their jaws dropped to the floor.

"Ronnie is gonna freak the hell out." Kade and Darren muttered simultaneously.

"May I introduce our esteemed guest judges for the evening, flown allll the way from HOLLYWOOD! Here they are now, please welcome... TAYLOR SWIFT! EMINEM! AAAANDDD RYAN ROSS!"

The blonde, the white rapper, the eyelinered fellow made their way to the three throne-like chairs stationed at the front of the stage. Taylor blew kisses, Eminem used his middle finger to tell them they were Number One, and RyRo waved.

"I can practically hear Ronn hyperventilating right now." Darren groaned.

Kade shook her head; "The contestants don't know who the judges are. Ronn told me, they don't find out till they get onstage. Poor girl's gonna be in for the best and most petrifying surprise of her life."

"OHMHGAAAWDDDD TSWIFT!" Kurda screeched, trying to climb over the chairs in front of them to meet his idol. "YOUR SONGS ARE LIKE MY DIARY!"

In normal circumstances, Mika would have restrained the blonde Vampire, but in this case he was right behind Kurda, screaming the exact same thing... to Eminem. Arrow grabbed them both and manhandled them back into their seats.

"Fanboys." Kade sighed.

"Okay here we go... let's scope the competition." Darren noted as the first singer hit the stage. Literally, she took one look at the judges and fell down in shock. Then she didn't move. At this point, the paramedics intervened and she was carried off.

The second singer managed to stay on his feet, but when he opened his mouth no sound came out. Taylor gave him a hug while Em cussed him out. RyRo looked quite bored of the proceedings. Some singers were utterly horrendous. Some were rather good. Some were _extremely _good. Kade and Darren exchanged a nervous glance.

###

Ronnie couldn't see anything from the soundproof room where she waited with her fellow competitors. Once someone left the room to go onstage, they didn't return. She had no idea what to expect, what the judges were looking for, who the hell they even were… she'd be walking in blind, and prayin' like hell she had what it took to awe them. She thought about her song, and ran through the lyres in her head several times, moving her lips ever so slightly in a mute version of singing. She'd written this song herself, just for tonight. Under the pressure of competition the lyrics felt corny coming out of her mouth, and she was unsure of herself. Her courage faltered, and she began to consider switching back to one of her well-practiced default songs she'd sang before. She picked up her sleek white iPhone and pressed her thumb into the tiny round button. The bright screen flared to life before her eyes, but her heart sank as she saw there was absolutely no service in this little concrete room, and she wasn't allowed to leave. She'd have to figure this out without Kade's advice. But that didn't mean she couldn't give herself a quick hit of familiarity before she swaggered out into the glaring spotlight...

The stage manager cracked open the heavy metal door and called for Contestant 22. Ronnie's number was 38, she still had quite a bit of time. She plugged in her earphones and scrolled down to the recorded version of her song she'd downloaded to herself several days ago. She hit the small triangular 'play' symbol, and her ears were filled by her own voice. Then she exited out of the music app, and clicked into her photo gallery, and what she saw made her smile. An entire new album had been dedicated to the past week, right up till tonight. Her phone screen was wall-to-wall Vampires. Ronnie grinned despite herself, and tapped 'shuffle photos'. A small slideshow played right before her eyes, and her insecurities retreated.

Vampires everywhere, and the occasional shot of herself and/or Kade goofing off. Multitudes of Kurda's self-portraits, teased hair, pouty lips and all - he'd take any opportunity to swipe Ronn's phone and capture his own beauty. Shots of Mika and Arrow grinning and posing on various pieces of large farm machinery. A particularly hilarious accidental shot of Seba's face from when the crazy old Vampire had attempted to take a picture of his favourite rock, but had the phone backwards. A picture of Paris blissfully hugging his iPad, clearly unaware that he was being photographed. Another shot of Seba, mouth wide open and pointing furiously at the CN Tower. A truly adorable shot of Shasta standing in the grassy field back at Kade's place, with Harkat lying on her back and staring dreamily at the clouds - and Larten in the background, climbing the fence and screaming - presumably at Harkat to 'get off that dangerous and unpredictable beast!'. Next came a picture from the only rainy day that week, where Ronnie and Kade had amused themselves by playing dress up in each others clothes. Ronnie had felt odd and different in that cowboy hat and belt buckle, and Kade looked none too comfortable in those sky-high stilettos and that miniskirt. But what fun it had been… and Arrow and Darren sure thought it was cute. As the pictures glided across the screen, Ronnie completely forgot where she was, what she had to do, or what universe she was in. She felt like she was surrounded by her best friends, and they'd never leave her. Many pictures were cute, like the one of Harkat riding happily on Kade's shoulders. Some were heartbreakingly sweet, like the one she'd snapped of Mika and Arrow while they were sitting on the tractor having some serious bro talk. And then there was the spontaneously taken one of herself and Kade standing shoulder to shoulder in their pyjamas one early morning, with a very sleepy Darren and Arrow standing beside them. Darren was yawning and Arrow's eyes were closed, but the morning light filtered through the window behind them, casting a stunning glow over the four figures. Ronnie felt a tear come to her eye… then it was replaced by a unrestrained giggle as the final picture filled the screen - the one taken right before departure yesterday, with the wayward clan of Vampires spilling out the windows of the truck and the Essie, grinning and laughing because they had no idea how the weekend was going to unfold, but they were ready to face it head-on and make it one to remember.

Ronnie pulled out her earplugs as the song finished at the same time as the slideshow. Her doubts were gone; the song was flawless. She'd defied the odds already, just by being here. But she couldn't have done it alone.

And that was exactly why there was no better song for tonight.

###

"And now please welcome to the stage, our final contestant for the night, all the way from beautiful Sin City…. Laaaas Vegaaaas! Say hello to Missssss VERONICA DEXTER!" the host thundered.

"Darren, here. Take this." Kade insisted, shoving her empty popcorn bag into his hands so he could hyperventilate into it.

"HERE…SHE…COMES!" Harkat hollered and pointed as the familiar blonde girl pranced confidently across the stage. Then the spotlights dimmed, and she saw the three judges sitting in an intimidating row. For a moment, she paused stiffly. Kade could practically hear her thoughts as she stared at her three musical idols, trying to take it all in. Then the shock faded as soon as it had come, and Ronn casually picked up the microphone and closed her eyes, waiting for the music.

"Dar, you're gonna wanna see this." said Arrow gently, pulling the boy Prince's shaking hands away from his face.

"Says the man who snapped his elbow rests in half when Kade did her finalist run." Darren replied nervously.

"At least I kept my eyes open." the tattooed Prince shrugged.

"Shutupshutupshutup!" Kurda demanded.

###

"This is a song I wrote myself." Ronnie murmured into the microphone, slowly and crystal-clearly. She smiled at the way her voice echoed off the massive stadium walls. "I'd like to dedicate this to my number-one fans. This song speaks for itself… I love you, guys."

She could have sworn she saw a patch of pink rhinestones flash somewhere in the crowd with an accompanying Kurda-style cheer from somewhere up in the audience, but now was not the time to look harder.

The music began, and so did she.

_"We don't have to try_

_To think the same thoughts_

_We just have a way_

_Of knowing everything's gonna be ok…"_

Kade smiled as her best friend's voice echoed throughout the stadium, amplified so it sounded even better than normal. She'd been in the room when Ronnie wrote those lyrics, the very first ones, describing their bond. The lyrics were explicitly simple and exact to the core. Kade realized she'd known it all along. Everything was going to be fine, and they'd made it so.

_"We'll laugh 'til we cry_

_Read each others minds_

_Live with a smile_

_Make it all worthwhile_

_Make it all worthwhile"_

_How true it is. _Arrow thought with much more sentimentality than usual as he stole a glance at _his _twinner, the incorrigible Mika Ver Leth who was currently trying to strangle Kurda in an effort to silence his cheering. Arrow could clearly see that Ronnie had designed the song lyrics with herself and Kade in mind… but it was also true that they weren't the only ones with an unbreakable bond. Ever since they were young half-Vampires, they were like two halves of the same shape. Mika always had the unique ability to break through Arrow's tough outer shell when necessary, even when Arrow didn't want to admit weakness to himself. _Love you, twinner. _He mentally quoted the words he'd often heard Kade and Ronn exchange. He knew they'd never be spoken aloud… the centuries of brotherhood spoke for themselves.

_Life has moments hard to describe_

_Feeling great and feeling alive_

_Never coming down from this_

_Mountain we're on_

_Always knowing we're gonna be fine_

_Feeling great and feeling alive_

_Never coming down from this_

_Mountain were on_

_The view is so clear_

_And it's crazy up here_

_Life is amazing with you on the ride"_

Harkat couldn't help but feel a incredibly dazzled, even sitting in the audience. What a weekend it had been! Not only had he ridden a real live horse, he was sharing oxygen with Emimem himself! (The Little Person was a great aficionado for odious rapper after spending so much time with Kade, Ronn, Mika, and Arrow.) Sometimes he could hardly even comprehend that he'd (re-)began his life as a silent helper at an underground freak show. And look at him now, skipping around between elite rodeo finals and internationally acclaimed singing competitions with a grand entourage of friends that, he was proud to say, nobody else on the entire planet had been blessed with. He didn't think he could possibly be happier.

_"We don't wanna sleep_

_Just wanna stay up_

_There's so much to say_

_And not enough hours in the day"_

Larten Crepsley had endured his fair share of emotional upheaval throughout his fairly long life. He'd had his ups and downs, sure. But this day had exposed him to an entirely new range of emotions like which he'd never experienced in his life. Sure he'd been proud when Darren hauled his dirty wolf-bitten ass back to Vampire Mountain, strategized a groundbreaking battle, and became a Vampire Prince all in the space of a day, but watching Kayden's championship run, and now seeing Veronica dazzle the stage with her beautiful voice… maybe this was why soccer moms had all the fun. He couldn't have been more delighted if Ronnie and Kade were his very own children. Maybe some day he'd tell them how proud he was… or maybe not. That would be foolish. No, he'd maintain the persnickety old man act. _But I am so proud of you._

_"We'll laugh 'til we cry_

_Read each others minds_

_Live with a smile_

_Make it all worthwhile_

_Make it all worthwhile"_

Mika wasn't a particularly empathetic person by any extent. In fact, he might even say he was the least empathetic person he knew. Even to the point of being a little bit sadistic. He'd always been a very solitary soul, from those around him he took nothing and contributed nothing. His family consisted of he, himself, and him. Some might even say he was emotionally closed off. And who was he to say otherwise? They were right, after all. At least, they used to be. Before this, before the laughter and the stupid jokes and the ridiculous misadventures, Mika had accepted his chronic irritability as his way of life. He didn't reject the thought, but it was rather numbing just the same. He was doomed to be gloomy. And then they showed him otherwise. All of them, even Kurda. Mika stared down at the stage, watching Ronnie as she rocked out with aggressive passion. The audacious and occasionally ditzy blonde girl had become a little sister to him, as had Kade. His family of one had expanded to ten. He was a little disappointed that he hadn't realized until now.

_"Life has moments hard to describe_

_Feeling great and feeling alive_

_Never coming down from this_

_Mountain we're on"_

Seba was a stranger to this world. Like a traveller from the past coming to investigate the future. But to do that, he had to navigate through this strange and occasionally alarming (and always abominable) realm of glowing screens and glittering footwear and animals wearing… (insert nose-wrinkle) …_clothes_. Being of sound mind and able body, he alone defended the clan from being hypnotized by these strange and deadly marvels of human society… or at least, he tried to. But maybe there was a point to these silly girly lyrics… just because they were exposed to such nonsense, it did not mean their traditional Vampire values would be lost in time… after all, metaphorically speaking - they were never coming down from this Mountain. Their Mountain. Then he glanced over at his beloved student Larten who was cheering silently for Ronnie as though she was his own daughter. Maybe there was something to be said for being a grandparent…

_"Always knowing we're gonna be fine_

_Feeling great and feeling alive_

_Never coming down from this_

_Mountain were on_

_The feelings so clear_

_And it's crazy up here_

_Life is amazing with you on the ride"_

There aren't a whole lot of folks out there who have over 800 years to look back on. Paris had to admit he was among the lucky few who'd had more good days than most people had days in general. Before the computers, before the vehicles and the road trips and blessed Apple products, Paris had been perfectly content to kick back in his hard wooden throne and enjoy his last couple years on earth before the afterlife claimed him. No more silly battles, no more running around… he'd been looking forwards to retirement. Until one day a little Vampire Prince named Darren Shan brought a computer to Vampire Mountain. Paris hadn't gotten the traditional Vampire retirement he'd longed for, but he knew in his heart he'd gotten something much better… an _iPad_. Oh, and a family too, he supposed. That was a new concept he could submit to the Dr Phil show, one that would baffle doctors everywhere… you're never too old to start a family.

_"No time to be lazy_

_The journey is perfect_

_The pace is so crazy_

_The race is so worth it_

_I will be with you_

_We'll do this together_

_Always together"_

Sitting in his cushy folding seat, Kurda had to try very hard to mask his excitement. As it was, he was bouncing and clapping and cheering for Ronnie, but if he showed the full extent of his current feelings he probably would have blasted a hole in the roof. He felt like he was onstage himself, rocking the entire world. He'd never been happier for someone else in his entire life - except maybe the day when Mika finally relented and bought those super-cool Guess jeans with the studs on the pockets - but he was so happy for Ronnie that everything else seemed dull at the moment. Before she came to the Mountain, Kurda was a loner, a flamingo in a flock of sparrows. Ridiculed and misunderstood no matter how badly he tried to help his friends with their godforsaken lack of style. Until the day when a little blonde girl walked through the door and asked him where he got his limited-edition sparkling Ugg boots. Even though she was the one moving in, he felt like he'd just come home.

_"Life has moments hard to describe_

_Feeling great and feeling alive_

_Never coming down from this_

_Mountain we're on"_

_Iloveyou Iloveyou Iloveyou Iloveyou. _Darren thought feverishly to himself as he wrung his hands in sheer awe at his soulmate and best friend. _Please gods let me keep her forever. I'll do anything. I love you Ronn._

_"Always knowing we're gonna be fine_

_Feeling great and feeling alive_

_Never coming down from this_

_Never comin' down_

_Never comin' down_

_Never comin' down"_

Ronniehad blanked out, she'd forgotten where she was or who she was singing to. All that existed was her lips moving, the mic in her hands, and her lyrics in her ears. Maybe she'd died. Maybe this was heaven… no, wait. Heaven would be waiting for her backstage with hugs and kisses and maybe even some emergency bacon. Singing was her life, but her family was her heaven. _I love you guys. I owe you everything. This is for you. _And she drew breath to belt out the final chorus that would bring down the entire house.

_"The feeling's so clear and it's crazy up here_

_Life is amazing with you on the ride_

_The pace so is crazy_

_The race is so worth it_

_Life is amazing with you on the ride" _

One moment of ringing silence followed her end note, then the crowd roared like she'd just scored the winning touchdown at the Superbowl. It started slowly at first, then built up till it sounded like someone had dropped a jet engine nearby. Screams, applause… a standing ovation! Even from… (her heart melted) …_RYAN ROSS_. And Eminem! And Taylor Swift! Ohmygods, each of her idols were standing up and applauding wildly.

"Classy." said Em.

"Beautiful!" said Taylor.

"You're the one." Ryan finished with a smile that almost made Ronnie melt into a puddle on the stage.

"Thank you." she croaked as the host ushered her off the stage. She wished she could have found the words to be slightly more vocal, but her head was spinning so hard she was surprised she was still standing- never mind. The second she reached the backstage room she was ambushed by Kade, Darren, Kurda, Larten, Harkat, Mika, Arrow, Paris, and Seba in that order.

"YOU DID IT. YOU ROCKED THE FUCK OUT!" Kade screamed wildly, causing some nearby security guards to look very frightened.

"Iamsoproudofyou." Darren gulped, unable to stop the tears from streaming out of his eyes.

"I love you." she whispered back, planting a quick kiss on his lips.

"THAT IS MY GIRL!" Seba and Larten both roared at the same time, then stared at each other in shock.

"The song turned out even better than we thought." Kade declared.

"Oooh Ronn you wrote that all by yourself?" Kurda added with awe.

"Yeah." Ronnie replied, only blushing slightly. "It's 100% for us."

"Loved it." Mika grinned, patting Ronnie on the shoulder.

"Wow. I've never heard you say you loved anything except the custom skull decals on your truck." Arrow noted. "And nice work, Ronn."

"So, how are you feeling about your performance?" Paris inquired in documentary mode, holding up his iPad.

"Pretty damn great." Ronnie admitted with a smile, laying her head on Darren's shoulder.

"When do we… find out… who won?" Harkat wondered, scratching his grey chin.

"After the guest performance. They're bringing some mega-star in to sing while the judges decide who gets it." Ronnie explained.

"Who is it?" Kurda demanded. "Ohhhh I hope its Selena Gomez. I have to ask her what kind of shampoo she uses."

"It ain't Selena Gomez, but this kid will definitely be up for giving you some hair care advice." Kade wrinkled her nose as she cracked open the door so she could see the stage - it was a sea of purple light and golden glitter. Justin Bieber was in the house.

At the sound of his voice, Mika and Arrow went into nuclear meltdown, collapsing to the floor while holding their ears and begging for death. Seba banged his face against the wall. Paris rubbed his ears in confusion, as though trying to remove wax. Harkat started to cry. Larten covered Darren's ears. Ronnie and Kade made puking noises. Even Kurda looked confused and upset.

"Wait, guys." Arrow returned to his senses as Kade slammed the door and the room was soundproof once again. "Seriously, let's think this through… how often are we gonna be in the same building as Justin Bieber?"

"Never never never again." Seba babbled.

"So, what are we gonna do about it?" Mika added, catching on.

"Throw tampons at him." was Kade's first instinct.

"We'll keep that as a backup option. I was thinking more along the lines of… nationally televised sabotage." Mika continued.

"When did you get so sophisticated?" Arrow snorted.

"I've lost sleep planning for this day." Mika shrugged. "So let's do this!"

"I'll take… care of the… sound system." Harkat announced.

"I shall assist you." Paris added.

"I'll provide some… mood lighting." Arrow smirked. He had the perfect thing in mind. Seeing corporate sponsor logos flash across the digital backdrop had given him a stroke of inspiration.

"I'm with ya." said Mika. "Anything else?"

"We're on tampon detail." Ronnie snickered, high-fiving Kade.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Kade asked.

"Were you thinking tampons in the confetti guns?" Ronnie replied.

They double-high-fived once again, then the group split off to complete the mission.

###

Exactly three minutes later, The Biebs was carried offstage by a pack of bodyguards who bore the brunt of the tampon attack, but not before a series of female hygiene product logos had flashed successively across the giant screen behind him. At the same time, Harkat had re-connected the amplifier cord into Paris's iPad on which he'd youtube'd a tampon commercial to match the ones flying from the cannons. Finally, Paris had used a voice manipulation app to program an audio clip to sound exactly like, _I'm Justin Bieber and I completely endorse these products and recommend them to absolutely everyone on the planet. _

"I just wish it wasn't illegal to take credit for that." Kade lamented as the group re-convened backstage to await the judge's final decision.

"We're gonna be heroes." Arrow declared. "The world may not know our names, but they will honour our actions."

"It's already on the news." Paris giggled at his iPad. "_Bieber Performance Foiled by Mystery Geniuses… or Maybe He Just Actually Supports Playtex Tampons.' _Best headline I've read in 900 years by far."

"And now, despite Mr Bieber's performance being cut dramatically short, our esteemed guest judges are pleased to share with you the official winner of the first annual StarSearch SingOff!" the host's amplified voice reached backstage, and Ronnie cringed.

"Ohmygods it's time." she gulped.

"Look at me." Darren insisted, grabbing both her hands in his. "No matter what happens, I adore you with my entire heart and soul and I will always be your number one fan. I love you Veronica Dexter."

She couldn't speak. She could only stare up into his-

"Bitch please." Kade barked, effectively ruining the moment. "I'M her number one fan."

Luckily she'd spoken up or else Ronnie may have forgotten to gently disentangle herself from her Darebear.

"Love you all." she whispered one last time before blowing a silent kiss and slipping out onto the stage with her fellow singers. The Vampire gang bolted out of the backstage room and took a shortcut through a boiler room to get back to the audience area, where they stood in a line at the very front of the stage, waiting as eagerly as Kurda did for the release of a brand new Gossip Girl episode.

"In my hands, I have the name of the young superstar who will receive 100000$ and the opportunity to sign an international record deal for their choice of corporations. The judges commend all of you for coming out tonight, and hope to see all of you again next year." the host continued with his Seacrest smile.

"LIES." Emimem hollered unexpectedly. "That kid, second last to the left… I never want to see you again. Ever. Go die."

"Typical Em." Kade sighed sympathetically as the scorned singer (a boy wearing a cowboy hat and Apple Bottom jeans) raced offstage, bawling.

"Anywho…" the host muttered awkwardly as Taylor beat Em with her handbag for being so cruel. "Would you like me to open this envelope and reveal to you our Superstar?"

"YES!" the stadium chorused. But none so loudly as the very front row…

"I can't hear you!"

"JUST OPEN IT YOU BLATHERING FOOL!" Seba wailed, hopping anxiously.

"I heard a yes in there somewhere." the host shrugged. "Okay here we go."

His perfectly manicured hands began to slowly unfold the silver envelope… broke the pink seal… withdrew a single sheet of paper with agonizing slowness…

"And the winner of the 2011 StarSearch SingOff is…"

Ronnie closed her eyes. Kade chomped her fingernails. Darren hyperventilated. Arrow gently patted Darren's back. Harkat held Darren's hand in one hand, and crossed his fingers on the other. Paris shuffled his feet nervously. Larten prayed to the Vampire gods out loud. Seba suddenly remembered the CN Tower issue and completely lost his train of thought. Kurda begged Kade to stop chewing on her manicure. Mika stared into the distance through glassy eyes.

"VERRRRRONICAAAAA DEXXXTERRRRRR!"

For half a moment, Ronnie thought she'd heard wrong. Her facial expresson went from "Oh-the-lucky-bitch" to "HOLY-SHIT-THAT'S-ME" in a nanosecond as the crowd began to scream and she screamed along with them, jumping up and down and laugh-sobbing.

"SHE DID IT SHE DID IT SHE DID IT SHE DID IT SHE DID IT SHE DID IT!" Darren sobbed in amazement, trying to climb onto the stage but falling down instead. Arrow picked him up like a football and threw him up, then the rest of the crew joined him, crawling onstage like an invasion of hyperactive and delighted ants until Ronnie was surrounded once again. Darren babbled indecipherably as she wiped tears from his eyes. With her free arm she pulled Kade into a hug. Like magnets, the rest of the group fell into place and the 10-person superhug sank to the floor in a screaming weeping tangle of arms and legs with sparkling confetti and balloons raining down around them. (Thank God the tampons were no longer in the confetti cannons.)

"I did it." Ronnie croaked as she was being suffocated by Larten's embrace.

"You sure did!" Kade shrieked. "Now we can buy that Hollywood mansion Kurda found on Craigslist!"

"It better have a games room." Mika huffed as Seba elbowed him in the face.

"Or 5." Arrow added.

"AHH YOU WON I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT WELL ACTUALLY I CAN CUZ YOU'RE AMAZING AND I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT BUT STILL AHHHHHHHH!" Kurda declared.

"My thoughts exactly." Paris smiled. "I am so very proud of you, Veronica! Smile for a celebratory photo capture?" he raised his iPad.

"Allow me. You should all be in this shot." said the host with a gleaming grin, reaching for the iPad.

And it was a shot to remember. Maybe even to replace the one over the fireplace.

In the middle sat Ronnie holding her rhinestone star-shaped trophy and beaming with tears rolling down her face. Kade knelt beside her, flashing her championship belt buckle. Darren and Arrow stood behind them, hands on their respective girl's shoulders and priceless expressions on their faces. Mika stood by Arrow, pumping both fists into the air in a rare show of glee. Harkat sat on Mika's shoulders with a pink foam finger on each hand. Paris was beside them, appearing slightly leery of someone else touching his iPad but he forced a smile nonetheless. Kurda was on the other side of Ronnie and Kade, screaming and making the V sign with both eyes closed.

"The record companies will be in touch. Meanwhile, you got a beautiful fan club here." the host informed Ronnie with a chipper smile before handing the iPad back to Paris. "You're a lucky girl."

"I know. I'm so lucky." she gushed as she stare happily at the picture.

"_We're_. So. _Damn_. Lucky." Kade agreed.

As they returned to their group hug, no one noticed as the host walked offstage and seemed to disappear into the light. Had they spared one last glance, they may have noticed the yellow rubber boots peeking out from his pant legs. Or the heart-shaped watch hanging from his back pocket.

But nobody looked.

Kurda was too busy fixing Ronnie's hair before she went to meet Ryan Ross. Darren was too busy trying (and failing) to convince Ronnie that RyRo looked "incredibly gay". Arrow was patting him on the shoulder and promising he wasn't about to be replaced. Kade was revising her packing list in preparation to make a final trip back to the colosseum to load her equipment and her champion horse for the journey home. Mika, Paris, and Harkat were analyzing a long list of restaurants between here and home. Seba was having a very epic conversation with Eminem. And Larten was smiling tiredly at the wayward crew.

There was no such thing as a Vampire Mountain outing going without a hitch. There would always be something, maybe a broken bone or an overturned porta-potty or a misplaced explosion. Or even a severe scheduling disaster. But there was also no such thing as a problem that wouldn't be overcome with a little -or a lot- of Vampire Mountain ingenuity. Whether an app, or a set of pompoms, or a homemade explosive device, a bit of twisted Destiny, or the trusty package of emergency bacon. Everything would be fine.

_Never coming down from this Mountain we're on_

_The pace is so crazy_

_The race is so worth it_

_Life is amazing with you on the ride._

* * *

Still with me? Good for you! :) Extensive chapter notes as promised...

1. StarSearch SingOff was a lame ass name. My apologies.

2. I don't know much of anything about the music industry, but Kade's preparations for her competition are right on. That is how barrel racers get things done.

3. I would have liked to go into detail about their stay on Kade's farm (so much opportunity for chaos and fun) but if I turned it into a multichapter TVF saga then itd just be another thing that would sit around and starve for updates

4. Yes. My very own precious horse Shasta plays herself in this story. That was super fun to write. I've always wanted to put her in something. I tried to keep the horse/rodeo talk self-explanatory and easy to understand without dumbing it down too much. If something didn't make sense to you, I hope it didn't take away from the story

5. The Ricoh Colosseum where the rodeo took place is a REAL facility, where I've ridden several times. And it's freakin amazing. Google it if you want. Or not. There's a picture of the arena where Kade rode in one of the albums on my FB fan page if you want a visual.

6. Transformers reference ftw...

7. The CN Tower is also real. Hopefully you already know that. Paris's speech about it is property of Wikipedia.

8. I hope I don't need to also mention that Toronto is a real city too. I think its the biggest in Canada and it's about 2 hours from my place. Cool town.

9. Barrelracers warm their horses up. A lot. They're hardcore athletes too!

10. The Air Canada Center where Ronnie sang is also a real place. I've never been there but you could hit up google images for a visual.

11. "Something In Your Mouth" is property of Nickelback and it is my real-life alarm tune for competition days only. Also, 5 am is never good to me. Or Kade. And its a sad fact of life that hotel buffets often aren't ready in time for early risin' horse show folks.

12. Yes. "Get Back" by Ludacris is my theme song, and me and SB1 frequently shoot the lyrics back and forth when we're pumped. I believe it also features in an OFL2 chapter.

13. "Burn It To The Ground" by Nickelback is another one of my favourites.

14. Again I apologize for my lack of what goes on in the competitive music industry. I took my best guess based on what I've seen of American Idol.

15. OrthoSport horse boots are the real deal. I have 3 sets in black, red, and lime green and like Harkat, I sometimes put them on my own legs out of curiosity... AND HARKAT RIDING A HORSE = FTW.

16. For Larten and Mika's Christmas stage reference, refer to A Vampire Mountain Christmas Carol (2008). For the dropping Escalade reference, refer to How The Girls Stole Christmas (2010).

17. I sometimes wonder if I make too many Apple product references with Paris...but it's so much fun to write

18. Okay, I don't know jack shit about bombs or bomb making. (I think that's a good thing.) All I know I've learned from crime shows, so my description is basically to the best of my abilities. I think it gets the job done.

19. The code names...oh I had fun with the code names xD a Lesser Prairie Chicken is indeed an actual (and very random) species. Look it up.

20. Kade's "conversation" with Shasta is based 100% off real life. Horses always find away to talk with you. *hugs*.

21. Mika's sportsmanship shirt is based on one I saw in some store somewhere. I wish I'd bought it.

22. Narrating Kade's championship run honestly brought tears to my eyes because it is so so so exactly right on how I feel and think when I run. I didn't know if I could put the feelings and motions into words, but I tried my best.

23. The Cars quote! I LOVE the Cars quote I ear losers for breakfast.

24. Honey Roasted Garlic Bits&Bites are my whole life. I could eat nothing but them, forever and ever and my mom buys me a bag whenever I place first xD

25. One inaccuracy to real life... At a real competition I would never leave my horse so fast after a run xD singing competition or not, I'd spend hours with her after a champ run like that.

26. I love describing the Vampires' outfits one by one xD. So fun.

27. The chapter notes are almost done, I swear.

29. I love ludicrous/Ludacris jokes... XD

30. The guest judges...chosen justtttt for SB1 all her favourite folks, especially Ryan Ross. Ironically, I know absolutely nothing about this man since I'm not a PatD fan, therefore I had no idea what kind of dialogue/actions/etc to give him. I also felt awkward writing Em and Taylor so I didn't really give the judges many parts. But they were there

31. "Ronnie's" song is actually property of Aly and AJ. "On The Ride". Its kind of our theme song... corny but so sweet. It also features in Elenafromthewood's winning songfic for one of my contests. Its perfect!

32. I debated whether or not to throw all those little insights throughout the song. At first it seemed like too much, but without them the lyrics seemed bare. So I threw in a little POV from each of the characters we don't always hear from. I like how it turned out

33. Its been a goal of mine for a long time to have the Vamps foil Justin Bieber... I am so proud of them. That was a totally random thing I just threw in.

34. The Mr Tiny thing was like a last minute inspiration type deal. I couldn't think of a cool celeb to use as a host, and just calling him "the host" seemed blah, so I decided to add that little twist, just cuz

35. And this is where I leave you. It occurred to me towards the end that this story could potentially come across as Mary-Sueish because of Ronnie and Kade's success. But the thing is, since Ronnie and Kade ARE SB1 and I, and everyone knows that we are FAR from perfect. This is just a picture of our real lives; I race. She sings. And when you're as dedicated as we are, big wins just happen sometimes.

SO THAT'S THAT :)

Please please review even though I'm an ass and a half for not updating nearly enough. I miss your notes in my inbox. Also to anyone who's PM's I've been *ignoring*, my bad... I'll get to my PMbox soon :/

Have a good dayy :)

RXP


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